Pride, Honor and Glory. You sure?!

I hate writing Tribute Pages.

2009-07-19T01:03:00.003+08:00

I hate writing tribute pages. Cause these pages means that someone else is gone, and its really just sad to see someone die. We can only give them our prayers, and learn the lessons of their lifes.On 8th July 09, Maria Hertogh died of leukemia. For those who is not familiar with Singaporean history, Maria Hertogh was a young Dutch child adopted by a Malay family during WW2, when her parents were POW of the Japanese. After WW2, her Dutch parents were released and set out to locate their daughter, who had grown and converted to Islam. A court case ensued, in which the British seal a nailed in their coffin when they were insensitive to the Malay's sentiment, thus causing the Maria Hertogh Riots. You could read up more on Maria Hertogh Riots if you like, but to cut the story short, the riots showed how important it is to respect the sentiments of other races and religion. I realise that in Singapore, I am priveledge that I grow up with Malays, Chinese and Indian friends. I don't feel awkward when I talk to people who are not of my race or nationality.

The story of 15 year old Andre Tang that came out on 15th July edition of the Newpaper is of great importance to me. He is my next-door neighbour. For those who didn't read it, Andre died due to an rare abnormal heart condition where he only had half-a-heart. I forgot what it was, but his doctor had detected it when he was still in his mother's womb, and the doctor only gave him 3 weeks to live. But his mother had refuse to abort him, and after he was born, 3 weeks became months, and months became years. Sad to say, he finally passed away on the 12th of July, 2009.

Andre was a good, intelligent kid. His childish innocence never fail to amuse us. His laughter was infectious, and he was really a good kid. How many of us would pick up a stray animal and bring it home to feed and care for it. He was a great artist, and he manage to sold his artworks to buy his own laptop. When his sister quarrels, he would defuse it and when he notice that my father was at our living room and his sisters walk by our house without greeting my father, he would scold them. My family learn of his condition late last year, and how he would probably die.

And amid all this thing, he knew he was going to die soon. Its not an easy thing to know. While other kids think of what to study or what to play, he had to endure the pain of his sickness, while at the same time, write his own will and the challenges he face, we cannot pretend we understand. It was amazing how he took everything with a stride, sometimes joking about his fate, even his own death. But there was no doubt in my mind, that Andre still felt affected by it, and that the challenges he face were really tough, and not every grown man could take like as he did. We can say what we would do, but Andre had to really done it, and he did so admirably.

Andre taught me, that life is too short, and one must live life to the fullest. I realise now, that if I never go Brunei, I would live to regret the decision. I want to go, and I am looking forward to go. I have been having a heavy heart on whether to go, but now, there is no turning back. Andre's death taught me that life is just borrowed time. Use it wisely, but be prepared to dump the plans and ambitions to enjoy life sometimes.

Goodbye Andre Tang.

Stand Ye Steady

2009-06-27T11:33:00.003+08:00

We are now at war with a hidden enemy. H1N1 virus have beaten the border checkpoints and now is starting to spread in the country. But now isn't the time to look for scapegoats, but rather the time to fight the inevitable. To all healthcare workers, continue the fight. There isn't any choice right. I lay tribute to all healthcare workers, especially to my fellow medic brothers, who were caught in the confusion of the ever rising cases. The flu have made themselves apparent, and now, we have joined the fight. The next video is a tribute to all healthcare workers. May we fight on.

In tribute to Michael Jackson. Your passing has wrecked the hearts of million of fans, including me, who have growned up listening your songs. You are what Elvis have been to my parents. Long Live the KING!!!

The ultimate sacrifice.

2009-06-24T21:28:00.003+08:00

The total embodiment of the ultimate warrior. Willing to die for the defence of his country. Making the ultimate sacrifice. It is not easy to make a decision to die for your country. The kamikaze pilots are the bravest warrior in history.

Anyway, I still can't get over this. Imagine surfing Facebook and you see this cute little picture. I still can't believe she got a facebook account. And she looks cute too. Haha. Here's more photo of her.

Haha. I hope you grow into a good smart beautiful girl. Soo cute. A baby with a Facebook account. Haha.

Anyway, I was thinking of starting another blog. I miss those essays that I used to write for social studies and history and English classes. Boring as they may be, they were really more artistic and argumentative than writing here along with my personal stuff. I might lah.

Anyway, this is just a short, fast-game post. I post again later. Tata.

There will be no mercy, for cowards or TRAITORS!!!!

2009-06-14T02:03:00.003+08:00

We had been planning this paintball trip for months. We finally manage to pull it off and despite the rain and poor weather, we still had great fun playing shoot out with each other. Thanks to Michele for organizing it and those that came. Also we would like to thank Red Dynasty Paintball Park for their awesome services.

It was really fun. I really felt like it was on the battlefield. Seriously, i really felt scared when i was behind cover and those paintball hit my cover, making you felt really pinned. And the guns even sounded as if

Team A: The Specs Team consisting of the two Specialist, Sgt. Eugene Lai and Sgt. Benjamin Mak, as well as the injured Mother Michele Lim, and the IMH Staff Nurse Jaclyn Tan.

This is the team to beat. Despite Michele's ankle injury, Eugene is a Medic instructor and Ben is on the road to be a Starlight's senior medic. Both are BSLC trained, and Jac is no sweet talking girl you could just mess with. This is clearly one dangerous team.

Team B: The Special Forces, led by the navy medic, LCP Jeremy Yao and the special-unit medic CPL Rehan bin Rahim, along with Gurkha-blooded Anita Magar and titty-killer Yvonne Lau.

This team aren't to be messed with either. Jeremy was trained as an NDU medic and Rehan is in the only medic's "Special Forces" (Medics have their special forces, so don't laugh!). And Anita is Gurkha man!!! GURKHA!!! Hahaha. And despite that cute look, Yvonne kills nipple far bigger than the average man.

Team C: The Underdogs, formed by Lancer Medic LCP Ahmad Firdaus, Gunner Medic LCP Roy Ter and Orthopaedic Staff Nurse Shirley Ong

The Underdog team due to their smaller numbers, this team cannot be under-estimated. LCP Ahmad is a proud marksman while LCP Roy is the only platoon medic out of all the medics. And Shirley isn't really gonna go down that easily.

If there was an award for the game, then the list below will be cover it.

The Saving Private Ryan Award: This Award goes to Team A for completing their objectives, just like the movie. And just like the movie, they sustain high casualties on the way, too.

The Bridge Too Far Award: This goes to team B. Though they failed in their objectives, they put up a hard fight.

The Enemy At the Gates Award: This is awarded to Team C. Not because they were snipers like in the movie but they were like the Russians. At the start of the movie, the Russians were supposed to charge the German lines and the Russians were saying " From now on, it is either victory or death!". For your information, all the Russians died in that scene. ;)

Team A Best Player:Benjamin wins it for me. He really show why he is a combat specialist.

Team B Best Player: Jeremy could have win it except he was too stupid. So the award goes to Rehan for pinning down half of the opponents.

Team C Best Player: With my masked fogged up, I was pratically useless. So the I gave the award to Shirley who manage to capture an objective for us.

Hahaha. I blog again tomorrow. Tata.

The Bells Call for thee.

2009-06-07T09:50:00.003+08:00

Dear family and friends. I will be flying off to the land of trees, mountains and oil on the 27th of July, 2009. I will be posted there for a year, if you dont already knew. The start of my globe trotting journey away from the motherland a.k.a Pasir Ris. Hahaha. Anyway, thanks to those who volunteered to send me off. Some of them even took off. That I felt touched. Thanks guys.

Anyway, was browsing through Facebook, when I saw my own god-daughter's profile. She is reaching 1 years old and she got a Facebook account. Hahaha. Yah, kids these days so lucky. I her age was fascinated by how delicious my the tasteless baby food taste. Hahaha. Anyway, just to show her cute photos. After all, I am going to shoot her mother next week at paintball. :P

She sooo cute right!!! Hahaha. You take care little girl, and make sure you be happy ok, and listen to your mummy and daddy!!! Anyway, not much, I got a lot of photos to upload, but no mood to upload.

Anyway, plans for the future. I have decided. I will apply for Khoo Teck Puat Hospital after my ORD. Before that, I can already drive and ride, and probably have enough for my own Vespa anyway. I want to work in the AnE Department. Probably live my life out in the general ward too. Be patient and maybe I get promoted, though I am fine with seniority. Oooo, I was reading this book call Bloodletting and Miraculous Cure by Dr.Vincent Lam. Sound like a medical handout, but its really a novel about four medical students and their lives in the medical field. I really feel that its a good read. The best part was during the SARs period, where the challenges they face and the countless sacrificed made by many healthcare workers at that time were all recounted as the characters made sacrifices in order to prevent SARs.

Anyway, I'll blog again another day. Take care.

-State of War Over-

Its the nicer one right?

2009-06-03T22:42:00.006+08:00

Its still a state of war, so don't expect me to sing like a canary. Anyway, I blog to touch on certain issues, and of course, just blog about life.

First up, whats with Phua Chu Kang as a Courtesy Mascot? I ain't going to listen to a guy in yellow boots, curly hair and a mole preach to me about courtesy. Especially when his fame is dwindling in the country. Give Phua Chu Kang a dignified extinction. Don't plaster his image everywhere in the train and bustops. I say we bring back Courtesy the Lion. He is a vintage mascot, and of course, vintage is the trend.

H1N1 flu is spreading in Singapore like wildfire. Or is it? Please people, research first when you want to make comments. I hate it when many people are blaming the first patient with H1n1 in Singapore as selfish for refusing to cancel her trip to the US. For your information, she immediately reported herself when she found out she had flu, and they were able to isolate her. And even if she did cancel her trip, H1N1 flu will still come to Singapore.

Put trust in Mr. Khaw Boon Wan, the Minister of Health. For your information, H1n1 flu only has 131 death out of 20000+++ cases. The seasonal flu that has been hitting us for years has a death rate of 500,000 death worldwide a year, out of a total case of 3million to 5million cases per year!!! In fact, once researchers have confirmed that this will be just one of those seasonal flu, we might be going to green. Stop the nonsense of the world being wipe out by pig flu. Its getting on my nerve! There treatment for H1N1 flu. Please, just watch your health, and not worry too much.

Anyway, I am gonna miss Sembawang Medical Centre once my Brunei flight details have been confirmed. The guys there are great. I have really bonded with them, though too bad, I will be leaving them soon. I was hoping that if they decide not to send me to Brunei, I want to stay there at Sembawang. Hahaha.

Anyway, no more stuff to blog about. I am tired, I gonna sleep first. Tata.

Hi, welcome back.

2009-05-31T14:39:00.002+08:00

I have just watch Nights At the Museum 2, and I love it. I gave it 5 out of 5. A must watch movie. Its really funny, maybe better than the first. There was the old characters, and of course some new one as well, but the lines are just smart, and it was really funny. The best scene was when Darth Vader and Oscar the Grouch came for a villain interview. And I feel that Hank Azaria's performance as Kah Mun Rah, the main villain was really excellent. A definite must watch.

Anyway, not much to blog. I dont want to blog much about life. Life goes on. Korea might be going to war, Singapore got its first Swine Flu (I don't really care what you people call it, its still swine flu to me.), and Manchester United lost to Barcelona. No big deal. Life is still the same. Change is obnoxious. One day, the fight must go on.

So thats it. Watch Nights at the Museum 2.

Not in the best of Shape.

2009-05-28T22:28:00.002+08:00

I wanted to write happy stuff. The stuff that when people read, they get happy. Unfortunately, not today. I got a lot of happy stuff to write, but not now. If I write them all down now, then it would be just a facade to what I am really feeling.

I am really angry. I want to vent my anger on something. I just need to let it out. Talking won't do. I want to beat people up. I don't know why I got a short fused. I dont care anymore. Anyway, I am tired. I want to sleep. Don't tag about this topic, don't even comment. I am not in the best of mood to even talk to anybody, even myself. Let me be.

Belated Posts

2009-05-16T06:40:00.002+08:00

To my Mother, Happy Mother's Day. For all the wrong doings in the past, I know as a mother, you will always forgive me. I can never repay the dedication and effort you spent to bring me up. Thank You Mother, and Happy Mother's Day.
Happy 21st Birthday, Michele.To my adopted sister, may you and your family be blessed with happy tidings, and I will always there to guide you whenever you are lost in Pasir Ris, even from Brunei. Take care.

Sorry haven't blog for so long. Had nothing to blog about. Yvonne is being a bitch about me not having an interesting life. What can I say, other than I got a boring friend like Yvonne. How was I suppose to do anything interesting if you keep dragging me out only to eat. Below two photos to my two bitches who keep dragging out for their own entertainment.

Not much else. I'll update if anything interesting. Now very bored one. Take care. Tatata

Epic.

2009-05-03T23:25:00.003+08:00

I cannot say anything. I am addicted to Warhammer Online. Caecillia had a 5 hour battle today. Trust me it was epic. It was chaotic. Destruction attacked us till we had to reform our line. They took everything and in fact, we were despairing. They were relentless. They came so close that we had to use our fortress cannons to drive them back. But soon, more men arrived, and we slowly push them back. Soon, we even send expedition to elf and dwarf land to reclaim theirs. Thats how powerful our warband become. Help. Its addictive.

Anyway, got work tomorrow. Good day. :P

2009-05-03T03:28:00.004+08:00

Ok. I am now currently addicted to Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning. Its a fantastic MMORPG. Ben, Shirley and Yvonne bought it for my 21st birthday. Its great. Though similar to World Of Warcraft in some aspect, its PvP elements (known as R&R in the game) is unique and the game is just fantastic. I engage enemy players at level 5, rarely heard of in World of Warcraft, where you need to be at maximum level, well-geared before you even think of fighting the enemy. In WAR, I fought enemy players twice my level (Of course, ambushing them and aiming for their weaker support units :p).

This is so fantastic. Let me introduce you to my two characters. I am playing in two server, a Role-playing server and a core-server. The core server is the normal server while the Role-playing server caters to players who want to really pretend the persona of their character.

This is Caecillia, my level 5 Witch-Hunter. I like the class as it suits my playing style of harassing enemy force. I use her sneakily, chasing down retreating unit and attacking team support players who are basically weak in melee fights. Since she is in the role-playing server, I gave her a name in German in line with Warhammer Lore and a backstory. Haha. Well, Caecillia comes from the Empire capital of Altdorf. Having never leave the city, she join the Order of the Griffon to seek adventure. She lost her eye in a skirmish against marauders attacking northern village. She has since been a season fighter, fighting enemies of the Empire. Caecillia fighting onboard the Nordland XI

On the way to the lagoon with an Order Warband

The slow reclaiming of Fesenplatz

Fesenplatz was on of Caecillia most epic battlescene. Battered by the Forces of Destruction, Order forces regrouped and form a line near Fesenplatz. Outnumbered, the Order forces had nothing to lose but try to charge the enemy line. Destruction forces attack the line but were held back as more Order warriors join the fight and soon they began counterattacking. The Forces of Destruction were slowly being push back and they desperately attempt to hold back the reinvigorated Order. Caecillia played a crucial role, attacking enemy healers and mage while protecting Order healers from being attacked by desperate Destruction forces.

So anyway, I'll update tomorrow on my classic Dwarf character. Hehe. I havent test him in R&R yet so i'll show him later on. Anyway. Good night people.

Flu-ing the trend

2009-05-01T00:29:00.002+08:00

I know swine flu is the CURRENT news among the populace here, but I will still touch on it cause I am a healthcare worker too (You don't seriously think that we are engineers right?) and the swine flu affects me as it does to every health care worker.

Tell you the truth, I relish the challenges that the healthcare worker face in the fight against this new pandemic. Ever since SARS, I had always wanted to volunteer against such dangerous disease. I don't want such things to happen, but in times like this, I want to be in the thick of the actions. You may ask, why risk your own life? My sister made this point.

"I were to die by the will of god, then so be it. Its a risk I took when I joined Nursing."

Anyway, its now level Orange. All around the countries, defences are being set up against the infectious disease. Frontline staff in contact with patients are being told to wear Personal Protective Equipment, while relatives are being turn away in order to prevent the tragic incident of SARs occuring again. Even in the Army, necessary precautions are being taken efficiently and effectively, though I am in no position to comment on that. The whole state is basically near the state of war. Sounds like I am really making a Zidane out of a Noh Alam Shah, but it really can be seen. Singapore is prepared. Even if Swine flu is to strike us here, the impact might be dulled by such swift and effective actions.

Anyway, I advise you guys to take necessary precautions and try to keep yourself healthy this coming days by watching your diet, drinking lots of water, and seeking treatment immediately if any signs of flu or fever occur. At the same time, carry out your daily life as usual. I plead on the general public, to treat healthcare workers kindly. Already, workers are hearing nasty comments from general public, saying they shouldn't take buses. Remember SARs, and remember those who died in the fight. May their experience be a lesson to us all.

Carry on the Fight!!!

I'm Not sure I want Pride, Honor and Glory if it means death

2009-04-29T04:07:00.005+08:00

Finally got to updating my blog. I had been wanting to change the template for a long time but couldn't find one nice enough in Blogskins. So in the end, I decide to go for the professional approach by choosing a simple one from the given template. I was inspired after seeing Tuan Guru Dato' Haji Nik Abdul Aziz Bin Nik Mat. He is the spiritual leader of PAS, or Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party, the Malaysian opposition political party that advocates Shariah law to Malaysian Muslim.

I am not really concern about Malaysian politics though its interesting to see how politics is part and parcel of their everyday household. I have read the books of Nik Aziz Nik Mat and I must say, he is an intelligent man with a great mind. While he advocates Shariah Law for the Muslims in Malaysia, he does reject racial-politics that have long plague Malaysian politics. I really admire his judgement and wisdom.

Anyway, politics aside, I want to revamp my writing style. This is in line, of course, with my turn of age, alas, my 21st Birthday resolution. Yes people, I am 21 years old now. I can now legally do almost anything that is legal in Singapore ( If there is ANYTHING legal. Haha.). My previous writing style has been quite erratic, with a tinge of recklessness, unbothered style of writing. Now, with a new neat template, I want to write with a sense of professionalism that I put in my work. I will of course try to cover current events, but I would still write about my personal life as well. Don't worry.

Okay, I know you are not reading all this nonsense because you want to hear about Nik Aziz Nik Mat. So I turn 21 on the 25th April last Saturday. We had a doa selamat or prayers to seek Allah S.W. for my safe journey to Brunei. Ustadz Ahmad Rais really touched us when he emphasise on the fact that I am doing this for my family and duty. I am still not sure yet when I will be going, but I know if I don't go, there will be lots of profanities flying around because I went for surgery to remove all 4 of my wisdom tooth. Yes! All four wisdom tooth. You heard me. I had to go under General Anaesthesia as well, which means they put me to sleep. I ate porridge for almost a week. Haha.

Anyway, it was great to have a reunion with my families, relatives and friends. I will miss them loads in Brunei. Haha. I am going to Brunei because it is my duty to my country. The pay and the experience is a plus, but like my Officer Commanding told me,

"You can't chose how or where to defend your country. If you won't defend your country, who will defend your family?"

Sound cliche, but the point is made. I want to meet all my friends and family, all those who I love, and I want them to know that my choice to volunteer to go to Brunei will always have second thoughts. The only reason I am not backing out is because of duty and honour. I always want to make my parents proud, and this is the best opportunity to do so.

Anyway, if you look at the time of the post, you realise I am blogging in wee hours in the morning. I want to rest now. Goodni... Er, fine, Good Morning people. Take care and tata.

The Devils wear Chapal.......

2009-04-14T22:34:00.002+08:00

Took that photo during the Sakura dinner..... had to wait so long from Pei Si to send it over but there it is...... Haha....... I miss the old days...... But their lives goes on, and so do mine....... Haha..... I cant wait for the paintball trip..... let the Brunei Medic Storeman and his marksman skill bring all of you down...... I am going for the Specs...... hahaha........

Anyway, I am bored...... life has nothing to blog about or just to sensitive to blog about cause it involves matters of National security...... So this is good bye

Steel Within

2009-04-02T21:41:00.002+08:00

Who says Medics got no PRIDE??? Each time I wear that Red Cross Armband doing my medical cover, I walk with pride cause the safety of the training troops are covered, and they train easier knowing a medic is covering them........ I remember this funny debate between Sgt.Royston and Han Ping in BMC...... It never crossed our mind until that half-fucked-Commando (We call him half-fucked-Commando cause he was from Commando BMT mono-intake before he disrupted his service to retake his A Levels.) made this brilliant point.

Sgt Royston: You said I am going hard on you guys? Have you been to other units? I was talking to Han Ping about Commandos. Those guys, wah, so crazy that in the cookhouse, they queue in SEDIA position. Right or not, Han Ping?

Han Ping: Wah!!! That one hardcore ahh Sargeant. But you cannot compare. They, commando, train to kill. We, medics, save lives.

The best point. I miss BMC. Nothing against my BMT buddies but in BMC, we were like really brothers. We really had fun together, and somehow, even with all the Chiong Sua Spirit gone, we still were dedicated medics...... I hope you guys have fun......

Pull, Lads Pull......

2009-03-22T22:59:00.002+08:00

Haha.....I love his rendition of the song.... or maybe its just cool to see him sing..... Its some restaurant in China...... I hope they tip the guy, man.....

Sorry, didn't had time to blog...... This will be a short post too..... Really sorry..... :P

Anyway, I nw am a trained medic...... And I am now under Army Medical Service as an Overseas medic...... Yes ladies and gentleman, I am a Brunei Medic...... after my GE course in April, I am a Brunei Medic storeman....... hahaha...... Now I am going to sleep...... Tmrow I have to go train somemore...... goodnite..... >.<

Me, Myself, the Medic.....

2009-03-01T02:34:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, the world is full of surprises, inequality and injustice...... Yet, the wonder of all living things in earth fights back against all hopes in order to survive. Not just humans, but plants and animals...... they may be facing a threat but hell, they just sit down and grind it......

Anyway, going to pass out soon as a Combat Medic...... Not sure where I am posted to, but I was really hoping it would be Brunei....... No words yet...... just praying....... Another news is that I was chosen my instructors to be 1 of the 2 candidates for Platoon Best...... Being chosen was a huge surprised by itself....... I never expect to be even considered for platoon best, let alone being the only sole competition to Matthew....... But Matthew is a great guy, and in all fairness, he should be the Platoon best, if not Company Best...... He is a great leader, and a really nice guy...... He really show us why he was from OCS...... I don't care now if I become platoon best or not....... I just want to start anew.........

Sometimes, you know who your friends and family are in the most unexpected time....... I know who my real friends are......... thats why, when in time of need, what will I defend? My family and friends...... Not to mention my trusted Lappy...... Haha...... Anyway, not much to type....... btw, Rome, I will find time for you...... Good day everybody.......

I wanna be...

2009-02-20T22:26:00.002+08:00

This old video was cool...... I am a fan of this song..... Sound so Communist...... its actually about a group of serfs pulling barges to the Volga river, thus call the Song of the Volga Boatmen...... The video seems just damn retro man....... the lead vocal seems to be so full of himself..... haha..... And they all seem to able to sing without even swaying their body....... haha.......

Anyway, I got two weeks left to go before I become a trained Combat Medic...... I still wont know where I will be posted but I am praying I get to go Brunei...... It will really lift my spirits up after last years disappointments..... I really want to leave the shadow of the past behind.......

Anyway, I just love this platoon of medics..... too bad, when I am beginning to gel with them, the course is about to end......... Haha...... gonna miss them......

Anyway, not much...... I going to sleep...... goodnite........

Seek Save Serve! MEDICS!

2009-02-13T21:59:00.002+08:00

I love being a medic...... Stressful, chiong, crazy and full of fun all at the same time..... My platoon mates are fun..... initially, I had certain misgivings about my new comrades who I will probably I will be serving with during my reservist (Haven't ORD yet talk about reservist!)..... but weeks have passed and certainly, they had been great friends...... brutal jokes, banters and outright insults....... Being a medic has never been so much fun.......

Whoever said that being a combat medic is slack can just kiss ass....... Just because we study most of the time doesnt mean we dont train hard either......... I got my fair shares of back aches and leg pain too....... I aint saying much but yeah, we also chiong sua what........ Just because people see medics holding PSP doesnt mean its the standard item in our MOP...... I want to posted to Brunei..... The experience should be great for my resume........ it will be really cool if I get posted to Brunei as a medic....... Who knows maybe I get to marry to royalty...... haha!!!! What a load of bullshit...... HAHA......

Anyway, the weeks that past has been great and busy......... I hope Febuary will be a great month for me...... Let it all end............

I got Needs too, people......,

2009-01-27T18:13:00.003+08:00

I SO WANT THAT VESPA!!! A LOUIS VITTON VESPA?! WHOA!!! I WANT THAT VESPA!!!! A LOUIS VITTON VESPA!!! SOOO COOOL!!!! Look at that man....... Haish..... not in this near future though....... I could never afford to finance a loan now, let alone buy a Vespa, pay its COE, its road tax, fuel and maintanance cost....... Not with $400+ anyway......

I don't know what my future holds for me anymore..... I realised that all my dreams died last September, not when I entered the Army, but rather when I lost that opportunity to kickstart my career...... I look around my friends and I see them starting their careers and family...... I am 21 years old this year...... this is the most significant year for me....... Yet, I don't know what I have achieved when I reach 21 years old....... I look around and people around me are doing something....... even my own sister who is younger than me by a year, just finish her PRCP, which means she will be a REAL staff nurse by March or April....... Me? I can only assure you that I will be a Medic by March......

I thought I could exorcise my demons if I try to be at least my platoon's Best Medic....... I know I could do it...... I have the capabilities to do it...... Yet, my chances are slim now caused I messed up...... As usual, confidence issue....... I studied every night for a test....... I am sure I can ace the theory, but bloody hell, my practical always cost me....... I know, I am pressuring myself, but I just want to make my parents proud of me, to make them tell out loud who their son is.......

Father keep asking me to sign on with the Army........ A definite no....... Even though I think NS is necessary, signing on with the Army is just detrimental to my career....... I will serve my country, but I wont join the Army for my career......... Father has a right to ask me to sign on...... He might lose his job this year...... I pray to god that he doesn't......... I hope that this financial crisis settles though I don't think in this year......... The Army sounds good at the moment, but how good remains a question...... I can't live the Army life....... I want to be free...... People always ask how much freedom do you really need........ All I can say is freedom should never be taken for granted........

I really almost depress....... But I see a light........ And I can say its a not really a bright light....... Oh well....... Tata

Somewhere...... Out there.......

2009-01-11T17:20:00.002+08:00

I think Audrey Hepburn defines style..... She just scream sophistication without even opening her mouth....... She just is stunning....... She is just simply captivating and sometimes, I wish I was born in her era just so I could see her in person.......

Anyway, I feel satisfied...... why? Cause I just completed a New Year Resolution........ Yes, I bought my X-Box 360........ it just feel sooooo cool........ Yes, I am now a proud owner of an X-Box 360....... Woo Hoo...... Its second hand and currently has 7 games and unmodified so that I can play online once I buy the Gold membership....... I build up my games library and controller amount slowly just like my Xbox...... By the way my X-box is still alive.......

Anyway, got to book in........ I now Army Medic hor...... Tata......... :P

Shall we find something to kill to cheer ourselves up?

2008-12-28T11:24:00.002+08:00

A new year is upon us...... Merry Christmas anyway everybody...... Anyway, I have not blogged for quite some times, so I going to talk a lot...... I hope I got a lot to talk about..... I know I got a lot to talk about but sometimes I tend to forget what I what to write, especially when people nudge to ask random, undefined questions, asking me how much life have improve or worsen for me. Equally distracting is probably people nudging me for NO GOOD REASON other than to start a nudge war (I will not bow down to you bitch. My fingers will crack and burst to dust before you see the nudges stop coming!!!).

For the first two and a half days of the Christmas week was spent in SAF Medical Institute where I will begin my three-months training to have a Red Cross on my shoulder....... So far training has been okay....... Its a bit different than Tekong, but oh well, I can't wait for this to end........ Then I got 4 days straight off....... I love it there...... haha....... Dont ask me how many day off I got...... You won't want to know....... Haha......

But the most boring part of it is having so much day free, yet you can't do anything cause everybody else is working....... Irony......... Haish....... Anyway, yesterday went for supper with whats left of the clique........ Yup...... What's left of the clique......... I hate to say it, but I got to say it........ Can't say I never expect but yup......... Me, Ben, Rehan, Yvonne, Shirley, Michele and her daughter went for supper....... Little Beijing has grown sooooo big........ Can't believe the last time I met her, she was soooo small........ haha...... we talk and update about life......... Nothing much.......

Anyway, I need to book in....... Have fun gentleman.......

My New Vocation

2008-12-19T10:45:00.002+08:00

Combat medic loh...... note the word, Combat.... The picture is used in one of the video which describe the medic in Red Alert as the worst units to have in the battlefield...... I always thought how cool it is to be a medic ever since Red Alert....... So now, Army Medic loh..... haha...... Alright..... geez, then what you all expect?! I go Guards is it?

Anyway, thats it..... Have fun

New Year Resolution

2008-12-15T20:27:00.004+08:00

I know its too early but let me post my plans for 2009........ then we can look back at 2008 right? Of course, resolutions never work...... so instead of saying something stupid like "for the year 2009, I want to try to curse less." (Which we all know will never work), the idea will be to set up working goals....... something like my 5 years plan, but of course, it works only in the short term.........

Resolutions for Year 2009
+Get my driving license by June.
+A X-box 360 by March
+2Ducks In the Mud to be up by April
+Bike license by October

Yeah...... short and sweet....... With time limit too..... and since its a resolution, I am so not under pressure to meet them.......... Hahaha...... its true....... hahaha.... I try to meet them...... well, I hope.........

I know I rarely come here to blog....... I got commitments...... Alas, its tough being a son of the country........ But I am happy....... at least I am occupied........ And I get to meet people...... which is cool too....... Anyway, I done....... Haha...... I am sorry....... Have fun......

Ladies and Gentleman........

2008-12-11T09:17:00.002+08:00

Since I rarely blog...... I will post a video on the reason why I never blog.... yup........ POP loh!!!! Hahaha..... I'll blog again later...... tata

Life is green....

2008-11-02T14:50:00.002+08:00

That pasta was not mine....... I try not to waste food...... especially when I paid for it...... that was taken before the hair was gone....... haish........ I miss civilian hair........ I miss having to comb it, to make it follow my will.......

Anyway, as usual, life in the army is unbloggable... yup, that is a new word...... One day, maybe it may spread...... as if...... haish........ So, to fill up the post, I am just going to ramble on about life thus far without the army contents.......

Sometimes, I want to know more people....... expand my social circle...... broaden my horizons and make sure my week-ends are filled........ Ya, I want to find somebody to sit by my side, to share our days, to complain, to make noise, to sms, to just sit beside me sharing my silence...... Singlehood is so overrated...... I am not desperate...... I don't really think that you are the only person in this world...... My life goes on..... Ahmad is determine not to stop....... Just wish I spend that quiet time with somebody special......... at least I still got my friends and family to depend on......

Anyway, sometimes, I wish problems could fly away..... Just fly away...... go away and leave me alone...... then again, what's life without problems....... haish....... I just wish life was carefree....... I don't know why I feel so gloomy....... maybe its the current situation...... you read the news, and its all just bad news........ world in recession, people losing jobs, melamine found in China girls breast milk........ haish....... even the sports news is gloomy....... Arsenal in crisis again..... haish...... makes me feel so gloomy........

Anyway, I must fight on...... I know that I have to fight on....... I know I can do it...... I can fight on....... I can screw the world upside down if I want to...... Even if I am going to lose, I will make sure I will go down like a gentleman....... fighting........

I was playing Red Alert 3 online....... the games is nice, but so many patches....... anyway, I was playing 3 vs 3....... I was the Allies, and my team mates were the Allies and the Empire of the Rising Sun........ My enemies were the Soviets, Allies and the Empire....... Early on, a early rush saw us take out the Allies, while our opponents took out our ally, the Empire...... so it was 2v2........ while expanding my base, the Soviets Kirov airships sneaks through the map and raided my bases, levelling it totally...... I was left with only my barracks and a few ore refineries and trucks....... that would have spelled doom in the late games as your infantries would never stand a chance against the tanks and mechs of the soviet and Empire......

But, being a crazy tactician that I am, I build up a force and charge at the enemies...... my opponents was surprised and time and again, I stopped countless offensive they made against my ally who was providing me anti-air support to ensure my barracks were not destroyed....... I even attack my opponent base and so distracted, my opponents were, that my ally manage to send Tanya on a mission to blow up a base of the Soviets, which was a sucess, and throw the Soviets out of the game....... So it was just me, my ally and the enemy Empire........ Knowing I was a threat, the empire rushed my remaining barracks and despite tough resistance, my army of peacekeepers and bazooka mens were no match for the mechanized army of the Empire....... I was destroyed completely.......

Okay, I need to book in..... have fun people......

You will bow before us, or you will cease to exist!!!

2008-10-27T16:04:00.002+08:00

Oh yah, I just got my limited edition pre-ordered Red Alert 3!!!! WOO HOO!!!! Red Alert was my first game I fall in love with....... But god dang it, its installing at the moment, and I booking-in in about 2 hours more........ Oh well.......

I miss a lot of people........ to the AF, I miss you guys too....... I'll try to squeeze time for you peeps okay...... been busy and exhausted at times........ to the cliques, SEOUL GARDEN on Nov 1st!!!!! WOO HOO!!!! To Roman, thanks for accompanying today....... Have fun dudes and dudettes.......

You Have been missed.......
Tata ladies and gentleman

I WANT, I WANT, I WANT!!!!!

2008-10-05T12:03:00.002+08:00

HELLO!!!! I have not update for like what the hell, 3 weeks!!!! Haha...... I am now no longer a young boy...... Hopefully, now can call me man....... :P

For those who want to know about the millitary training in Tekong and stuff like that, for your information, I can't tell you......... Sorry, can't be done........ I am not allowed to say such stuff...... however, I can said that I am coping well with training, and hopefully, I can cope as it progresses...... The only thing I can't cope with is my lack of hair...... And I gain 8kg..... from 55kg to 63kg...... amazing isn't it? They feed you real well in the army...... haha.......

Anyway, I miss a lot of things in the confinement period..... you realise that in camp, you miss your family the most....... then your friends...... and you realise how much you miss MSN-ing when you actually MSN using paper notepads........ but the Army is fun....... tough...... but okay, fun......

So now I need to book in again...... sorry if I dont always update lah...... And Selamat Hari Raya to all my Muslim friends and readers....... Maaf Zahir dan Batin keatas segala kesalahan yang saya telah buat, cakap atau tulis......... HAVE FUN!!!! Tata

Doubt.... There will be no doubt if I cut off your head.

2008-09-12T01:22:00.003+08:00

This is a scene from the movie Mohammad: The Messenger of God........ Its a like what the title said, a story about the Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. and the early days of Islam...... and despite the title, the prophet and his immediate families were not depicted in the film, and the film go around this pretty well actually, setting the stage for many other shows or films that depict the story of Muhammad S.A.W. ...... For this instance, only the sword of Ali, the son-in-law of the prophet was shown in a duel scene...... when a scene calls for the prophet to be present, the characters appear to talk to the camera and nodding to unheard dialogs that were supposed to be spoken by the prophet....... you can check it out at Youtube, there is a full version there though I didn't check it out cause I watch the DVD...... Its the Lord of the Rings of Islam...... And another of the main characters even look like Aragorn...... haha...... A good film to check out.......

Anyway...... I want to go off to sleep....... I'll blog again at least before I go into Tekong...... have fun....... :P

The Greatest People in the World...........

2008-09-07T11:01:00.003+08:00

I really miss them all....... Sometimes, you guys aren't even my friends....... You guys are my brothers and sisters....... Sometimes, I don't need to say anything and you guys have this gut feeling that I have a problem and would just damn ask......... You guys go all out to make sure that whatever problem I was facing, and whatever decision I make, I wasn't alone....... I was so glad that when I really needed somebody to cry on, you guys are available....... I remember the good times, the bad times, you guys are always there......... And even if my whole blog, if I decide to fill it up with post of how much I miss you guys, it still can't describe how much I really miss you guys.......

I remember that when I needed someone to call to unload everything that day, I could just pick up my phone and just dial Shirley's number and cry....... She and Yvonne even wanted to come over that night just to make sure I was okay........ And Michele, like a true sister, had that gut feeling that I wasn't okay, and just nudge me online, and when she found out what happen, she drag me out of the house and just listen to me as I cry....... Ben when he found out, I had to persuade him to go back to his apartment rather than coming to my house late at night to listen to my problem......... Rehan told me told me to relax, then told me to look forward...... And Haqiqi told me to forget about what happen and to make sure I wouldn't see her in ICU....... haha..... You guys are my real true friends........

They should be only the very few people I should trust...... I am trust people too easily....... I thought that everybody, given the trust, would not backstab me in the back....... I guess being jobless now is a testament to how the real world works....... I am too naive, and too stupid, too idiotic and too nice....... When I trust somebody, I give my them my trust whole-heartedly....... Even now, I still can't believe that my mentor was the one who wrote the report that make me jobless....... I didn't want to believe that he lied about writing a good report........ Because I trust that he would write a good report that made me felt really hurt about not getting it...... Yes, I had high hopes for the job...... If I showed you the letter that I have been receiving, you will know I already got the job........ It really hurts.........

But I am not planning to give up....... In chess, the best plan will go awry...... but a true winner wouldn't let his army crumble just because his plans got fucked up......... he regroup and go after his opponent's king again....... Just because Plan A failed doesn't mean I should not go to PlanB...... I do harbor thoughts about abandoning nursing...... But I realise that to fulfill my dreams, I got to face problems....... This is just a few of them........

Anyway, I don't want to blog how I feel about somebody..... I don't really feel its appropriate to write here...... but I already know........ I knew you felt that way..... I am not really stupid..... I can tell how you feel...... I think its fair that I just remain quiet for now........ I don't want you to feel forced to accept me.......

I can't wait to go to Exile Island....... I hope that this events will be a turning point for me....... Someday, I will prove to myself, and everybody else that I have what it takes to live..... One day, maybe one day, I will be somebody....... Thanks guys

You are almost on the bus, then someone push you off and the bus sped off......

2008-09-06T03:15:00.002+08:00

I am still hurt....... Yet, I definitely felt much better........ In truth, I know that I had did myself proud, and I had nothing to be ashamed of........ I did what I was told, I perform what I was asked, and gave my darn best........ It was a really stupid and unreasonable decision on the part of the SCDF, though it is their lost........ I hope their Army mechanic, design students and engineering graduates can perform better than this graduate nurse for the paramedic role....... Yes, I am hurt and sore, and anybody in my shoe would definitely feel the same way........ Still, I am only 20, and I promise that whatever I will do in the future, I will do it well....... someday, all this failure will be buried......... someday...........

Anyway, it was time like this when you know that people are always behind you, encouraging you to move forward.......... My family were the first people to rally behind me........ my father, mother, sisters and my grandmother, gave me strength to accept fate........ I felt hurt, and they know it....... they were hurt because I was hurt........ I have accept my fate..... The Almighty knows what he wants me to become.........

Also to Shirley, Ben, Michele, Yvonne, Roman, Rehan, Hairul, and Salim....... thank you for encouraging me to pick myself up and move forward....... I was especially touched when Michele took time off from her hectic schedule as a mother and wife to listen to my problems, and Shirley, Yvonne and Ben who even offered to come to my house to make sure I wont do anything stupid........ Sometimes, you guys are like my own family.........

Anyway, I am knocking off...... tata

It comes crashing down so fast........

2008-09-05T16:17:00.002+08:00

I got no mood to even put a picture on this blog...... thats how disappointed and frustrated I feel..... I thought I got in........ I thought I made it........ Finally, I can make myself into something...... instead, it all came crashing down with just a simple phone call...... And its not even from SCDF....... I got a call from CMPB....... they said that I am to report to Tekong instead, and my NS has been reinstated....... Apparently, my service was disrupted for only 2 days........ Apparently, everything was fine, and they manage to get my NS disrupted on Wednesday, that is until my RJP report from Changi FireStation said that I seem to lack confidence in dealing with the public and thus, not the type to be Paramedic........ I just felt betrayed, cause my mentor told me he was going to write me a good report, without me even asking him about it....... They welcome me like I was going to be part of the family, and I thought that the Tetanus jab, the paid attachments, the NS disruption........ I thought I finally made it....... I thought I got my dream job....... And the worse thing about it, was that I found out that I got rejected from CMPB, not from SCDF....... I just don't know why...... I break down......... It really hurts....... And the worse thing, is finding out that it not only hurts me, but my whole family as well......... Maybe, its for the best........ I trust the Almighty knows whats best for me........ But right now, I just want to reconsider my career path........ I love nursing, and I always got passion to make a difference in somebodies life........ but right now, I am not sure what I want to do....... I am just hurt...... I dont really care if I have to serve NS or not, but I just felt hurt about what happen...... I got no one to blame...... it's just me.......

Soldaty V Pohod........

2008-09-05T03:00:00.005+08:00

The world is mine to explore and conquer...... I still haven't got the call regarding my NS disruption yet, but nothing to be pessimistic about....... I know that they are waiting for the medical report, and I know I am perfectly healthy....... I AM!!!

Anyway, the first week of Ramadan is about to end........ So far, all has been well........ My mother just quit her job........ it was a rather personal matter........ I wished that she would continue working, just to keep her mind fresh, but since, I am about to start work already, then its about time then she resign....... She has always been complaining about being tired, so I guess, there is a silver lining........

Regarding Wednesday's supposed meeting, well, I am sorry, things came out over the organiser side (I am the planner. Two different thing hor!!!) and I made the decision to cancel...... I am sorry for any inconvenience cause, though hopefully, I will plan another one....... I damn hell promise.........

Anyway, yesterday, my father took a day off....... I followed him to Masjid Taqua to get porridge to break our fast....... Despite porridges from mosques being free, people would travel to unknown locations just to get good Mosque porridge...... There was this uncle who drove to Taqua to get a porridge....... His porridge are really expensive porridge, mine you. He got fined $70 because he parked his car on a double white line........ Haha....... But Then we decide to keep the porridge for sahur and the whole family when to the Spize to eat...... I ate the Black Pepper Beef hor fun, but I really like my Sprite float the best...... haha.........

then I went to meet Shirley after she knock off...... that bitach has been wanting to drag me out of my home after she found out the "LITTLE SECRET"......... Only a few people knew about the "LITTLE SECRET"........ haha....... I haven't talk to the bitach for a long time...... basically we just chat for a while cause she had morning shift the next day...... thanks for the Strawberry-Mango Tea bitach........ I'll return the kindness some other day okay?!

Anyway, Ben has been sulking about NS...... dude, I know how you feel...... I really felt the same way before SCDF called me....... Don't worry, I am always behind you guys........ Sure, I may be busy, but I do look around you know....... haha........

I really got bored....... I just can't go to sleep....... argh!!!! Have fun.......

Nothing will stop me from moving forward...... Don't worry, I'll look back once in a while...... :)

2008-09-03T23:04:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, pictures and words can't describe how you miss the days of old....... maybe we were all bound to meet each other, I don't know........ But sometimes, I really miss those days....... Now we are all busy chasing dreams, raising our hopes, and accomplishing our goals....... I know you guys miss those days as much as I do, but don't let it stop you from moving forward....... After all, we are praying for each other's future.........

Anyway, nothing so far from SCDF regarding my status...... They told me only left the medical report before CMPB will release me...... Nothing to fret about....... Everything seems okay....... besides, if there was anything wrong with my health, CMPB Medical Centre would have picked it up a long time ago......... Just pray.......

Regarding a personal family matter........ Whatever my sister did, it was the past........ And I believe she has change and will remain change......... I trust her, so I don't think anybody should worry about her anymore......... She is old enough to know what is right from wrong........

Anyway, my eye is sleepy....... I wanna go sleep...... take care.........

When you Wrote I Love Da Pussy, was ya thinking dangling yer dice on Lance's forehead?

2008-09-02T18:41:00.002+08:00

I gave Tropic Thunder 4/5 stars....... Its a really smart funny movie....... Its a real classic....... Its about a group of actors who were accidently thrown into a real battle when they were supposed to be making a war movie...... Each actors then overcome their personal problems as they try to survive....... I like Robert Downey Jr's character as an Australian white method-actor who is totally immerse in his role as an African American sergeant....... Ben Stiller played a famous actor trying for one last glory, while Jack Black plays a comedian addicted to heroin...... A must watch...... even if it was just to see Tom Cruise's role as a fat angry movie producer (A first time I watch Tom Cruise in a comedy.... Not bad.)

Anyway, still haven't get any call regarding my medical report....... pray its good news yah...... Its now just the medical report....... then I need to bring my guarantors to sign my training bond....... Hopefully, me be SCDF Paramedic yah? Haha...... have fun......

Thats what you said about Peterson, and then You ended up having sex with him!!!

2008-08-30T21:02:00.005+08:00

Alright, I'll blog quickly before I go to sleep lah....... damn tiring.... I have been spending the whole week with SCDF....... I am just tired...... When I get tired, I just watch South Park...... Its so nice and funny...... the jokes are sleek and neat.......

Anyway, the past 5 days, I was on Ambulance attatchment at Changi Fire Station to get a feel of the job so I can make the correct decision........ they refer to the Ambulance as "Alpha" On my first day, I got 2 collapse case...... like woah....... And doing CPR in a moving ambulance is a new experience for me....... It also showed the importance of CPR on the first few minutes of collapse..... On the first case, patient collapse in the house, and nobody in the household knows how to perform CPR, so patient unfortunately did not make it......... The second case, patient collapse in the office..... lucky for him, his colleague knows how to perform CPR, and bravely did it, even to the point of giving the "kiss"....... We manage to get a pulse in the ambulance and they recuscitate him at the hospital....... Thus, the importance of CPR in the very first few minutes is important........

my second and third day, they station me at Chai Chee and Siglap Fire Post to let me feel the slack side of an ambulance...... Slack they may be at the station or post, but they are all dedicated life-savers when on the job...... They dash out of the fire post when answering calls....... my fouth and fifth day was at the station, pretty cool too....... So okay, my mind is set....... They told me of the hardships I will be facing, so I have to get ready for it...... but it was a great experience anyway...... Also, the last day, I attended this DOA case....... its Dead-On-Arrival..... an old man seems to be cycling when he must have had a chest pain, alight from his bicycle, then drops to side........ it was only a few hours when his body was stiff in rigor did a concern passer-by call....... it was really a sad case........

So today is Ramadhan........ Its only 11am........ arghhhh..... few more hours to go...... tahan...... tahan........

101 Ways to Twang in the Army.......

2008-08-26T20:10:00.002+08:00

I am freaking tired....... Well, this is just a taste of being a paramedic, so must tahan....... I am already unemployed for 6 months, so I know its difficult....... but the Ahmad I know never gives up........ Besides, I can't tahan now, how can I tahan in the future..... Being a paramedic is worse.....

I went for my medical check up, where the medic fished for my veins to draw blood and they jab me a Tetanus vaccine....... thats painful....... Today I went for a job preview where they ask us to climb the staircase to the fourth floor and down again carrying the two bag packs and the defibrillator...... then we have to transfer the victim to a stretcher and into the ambulance, which they gave me a really heavy NSF guy to carry........ and then try to maintain stability in a moving ambulance....... Okay, so far can do it....... I can do it, so I am not dropping out....... Tomorrow I start my ambulance attatchment....... yeah........ Basically, I am suppose to judge whether I still want the job after the attatchment...... I am still interested, and the medical check up is fine, then am I officially a paramedic trainee........
So basically, now I just testing whether the job suits me........

Wish me luck people....... I try to blog as soon as possible which might be Sunday when I finally finish my ambulance attatchment...... take care.......

Verdi's Messa Da Requiem: Requiem

2008-08-24T13:15:00.003+08:00

I discovered this piece by Guiseppe Verdi (not the guy in the picture) when I was doing an essay for Appreciation of the Arts elective essay....... I love this strong, deep piece....... Okay, Tribute by Tenacious D was just an appetizer.......

We went to the fireworks festival yesterday....... It was totally awesome........ Haha...... I'll post the firework pictures when I have the time.........

I am going to make a wishlist........ Haha....... Don't worry, I'll accomplish them myself though if you people are kind to contribute, go right ahead....... *Wink*Wink*

1) A driving license by mid 2009

2) A Degree

3) Save enough money for the Hajj trip

4) Travel to Bangkok by train.

5) An X-box 360.

I'll save up enough for those. Don't worry, I am still young and stupid, so I can accomplish all those hopefully before I get Married..... Haha.........

Anyway, I miss the cliques soooo much........ But we all need to keep moving....... we can look back and relive it once in a while, but that is the curse of graduation, we can never be as we were...... still, it doesn't mean that we should just go our separate ways right? One day, we can meet up, book a chalet, and just have fun....... I'll try and plan it, you guys...... Work hard guys...... I hope the things that makes you happy........... Don't worry, your new social worker is always here if you can't find it....... haha......

Have fun.....

Thank the Almighty.........

2008-08-21T17:59:00.003+08:00

I want to return there again some day....... I remembered when I first visit the Holy Lands..... I was a mess....... I remembered that I was a disordered wreck, a ticking time bomb, not really knowing what life meant...... When I went there, while I believe in God, I never turned to him for help cause I never wanted help....... On hindsight, I almost didn't believe God could help me....... The he opened my heart...... When I visited Masjid Nabawi, the Mosque of the Prophet, my stubborn heart crumbled........ He showed me that whatever I do, he had planned it, for only he knows what he wants to do with you....... He was testing my will to believe in him...... I remembered going for Umrah after I got rejected by Alexandria Hospital, and just got through with the FYP....... Now, I want to go and see the Kaabah again....... I believed in Allah S.W. and Muhammad S.A.W. as his messenger......

The interview result, I did my best, and it is in God's hands...... So, I went back home, played WoW for 10mins just to slap Kael'Thas ass...... then I took a nap...... I only took 30mins when my mum accidentally woke me when she vacuum the room...... I tried to take a nap but Ms Ong Xue Ni nudge me....... I got up and entertained her...... I was asking her whether I was evil....... she told me I wasn't....... If I was, there wouldn't be enough space for her...... haha..... then I heard my phone vibrate.......

I have been shortlisted...... I am suppose to go for a medical checkup on Monday, and hopefully the SCDF can disrupt my national service...... in other words, we are about to employ you...... Thank you god for this opportunity....... thank you to my family and relatives who are behind me..... and thank you to all my friends for supporting me all the way...... It will be a tough road...... I am going to try my best to be a good Paramedic...... Thank you......

I am too happy...... HAVE FUN!!!

From Boy to Men

2008-08-20T18:34:00.003+08:00

This is the video from Army Daze...... For those who had never watch this, it is the local movie comedy about 5 recruits serving their BMT in Nee Soon Camp....... I remember I laugh like hell and this movie introduced me to the world of cool Hokkien curse word....... I was watching Army Daze when I received a call. It was from the SCDF....... my final interview for the Paramedic post in front of a panel will be tomorrow...... Alhamdullillah syukur, I got a chance....... Thank the Almighty for giving me this chance........

I shall go tomorrow with no expectations except to do my best to my greatest ability to get that job........ Even if I don't get it, then at least I know I did my best....... besides, there is always a second chance......... And there is always the Army........ I dont mind Tekong actually, though I still prefer Jalan Bahar....... Haha........ I am Ahmad Firdaus, and Insyallah, I will do my best tomorrow........ Wish me luck guys, and pray for me.......... :)

Its Alive.....

2008-08-20T14:45:00.000+08:00

I love my N70..... Of all my phones, my N70 was my most reliable and loyal servant...... believe it or not, this phone my perfect partner in NYP....... It planned meetings and presentation including our final year project, the phone had helped plan events and outings...... the phone that was behind me all the way....... So it almost pained me to see the phone can't be charged...... I had no way to charge the batteries cause the charger can't seem to connect to the phone........

So we brought it to Nokia service centre...... the girl said it would cost $150 and a few days to get it fixed....... THen she said she go and check out whether the phone could be fixed...... we waited and waited, and I had the feeling like I was in the operating suite's waiting room...... And then she came out and said that the phone had been fixed Free Of Charge........ You couldnt believe my luck..... haha...... thank god.......

So now I just got my phone back........ wee heee......

Pray for Good News

2008-08-18T14:42:00.002+08:00

I really miss this guys....... I really miss school...... I really hate the time seems too past so fast or too slow...... I want to be a career person...... I want my life to really start...... I got dreams to start, responsibility to shoulder........ I really don't mind serving NS....... but I really wish that I could have start faster........ 9 month break is a real waste of time........ ARGH!!!

Anyway..... Finally manage to free up time to blog....... Contrary to what Zhi Xian said, I don't spend most of my time at home lying in bed and dying (You will get it from me, Zhi Xian.)........ After all, they were the one who dragged me out to celebrate Jessie's Birthday which was on the 14th if I was right, with Ah Xian, Cel, Weiling, Hamidah and Michelle......... Anyway, I am still a good boy....... Haha...... I miss those days in ELM...... its over for me....... I got my own big dreams.......

Speaking of dreams, I got a call from the SCDF about my paramedic application...... They ask for my diploma........ That could be good news as it means they are still considering......... I have sent them, so pray that I get it....... Thank you for answering my calls, God........

And the weekends is spend trying to be spiritual....... Saturday was the night of Nisfu Syaaban...... it is one of the few holy days in the muslim calendar........ I follow my parents to S'pore Expo to listen to sermons and mass prayers.........

I will log off now...... tata.......

Keep Moving Forward

2008-08-11T02:40:00.003+08:00

I think this post is long overdue........ Happy 43rd Birthday Singapore...... Somehow, on this day, how much I disagree with the government, this day makes me forget about them, and remember the people who makes a difference in my life...... and almost 98% of them are in Singapore....... My friends, whether Chinese, Malay or Indian or anyother race, are mostly in Singapore, and somehow, I am a proud Singaporean......

Anyway, Happy 19th Birthday to my sister Fatin,...... If she is reading this, then this too is a day overdue........ And I know she read this shit, so dont bother tagging...... haha...... The Olympic has started....... and sadly, deaths doesn't care....... my respects to the late Bernie Mac..... and of course the victims of the Russia-Georgia conflict........ as well as many others in the world who are suffering........ sadly, with happiness comes great sadness, but Butter Stotch can quote me nicely on this

"Yeah... And I'm sad! But at the same time I'm really happy that something can make me feel that sad... It's like... It makes me feel alive, y'know? It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now, is if I felt somethin' really good before, so I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feelin' is, like a beautiful sadness... I guess that sounds stupid... Besides, I'd rather be a crying little pussy than a faggy goth kid"

Anyway, whatever happens this month will not affect the fact that my future will change in September...... September is the month of Ramadan, the most holiest month in the Muslim calendar..... Whatever plans the Almighty have for me in September, it is a blessing, and I will accept it, and I will make more effort to improve myself, so one day, maybe I can make a difference to a lot more people.......

By the way, I don't know whether to be frank with you or not...... I am not desperate, but that should not be a reason for me not to put effort....... If you still don't notice the guy that took a lot of his courage to go up to you, then I will take the effort to make you notice him...... I will try, and as long as I can make the effort, I will do it...... I will take the effort, and I am glad you appreciate them..... Sometimes, when you do make the time out of your busy work schedule to talk to me, I feel blessed...... I will continue trying, and I will....... Maybe its about time I take the effort......

Have fun people....... tata......

Hope Has Come

2008-08-07T15:26:00.000+08:00

A telegram was sent early this morning in NationStates..... The Benovelent Kingdom of Pasier Rise has been made the World Assembly delegate of the region of Singapore...... In a unprecedented move, the previous delegate, The Republic of Grailquest had lost support in a unprecedented move where all of the WA members that endorse Grailquest suddenly ceased to exist ( I HAD NO HAND IN IT )...... Now, regional members are asking whether the Kingdom took power through an evil way..... The life of a powerful leader...... Haha.......

I need to speak on this verbal assault I just learned about....... Apparently, Yvonne made this attack on me and somehow I had no comeback...... She took it from a Russell Peter's line...... it was "You Fucking Blowjob!"...... I mean how do I make a comeback to that shit?! Is that even legal?! Damn...... I need to be more creative in my verbal assault dude...... Verbal assault is important....... trust me.......

Anyway, National Day is coming..... so is the Olympics....... Ahh..... the Olympics...... the competition that unites nation and show the world what civilized rivalry is all about...... Sports should be given a Nobel Peace prize for bringing people together...... I hate it when activist try to politicised the event...... screw those bastard...... I do care about what the Chinese government are doing to its people, but I don't really think that politics should mix with the spirits of the Olympics...... In Ancient Greece, the Olympics bring together warring states to compete, and that no nations are allowed to conduct war during the events....... anyway, good luck to TEAM SINGAPORE.........

Anyway, thats it...... I'll write again

2008-08-03T22:12:00.002+08:00

Today we went to see Little Beijing a.k.a Rachele Lim Yan Ting...... her parents hosted her baby shower, and OMG..... She is soo cute...... Haha..... We bought her a playpen, some cute clothes, as well as a bottle of Yomeishu for her mother...... haha...... I told Michele, that little Beijing look a lot like her father, and the only trait of her mother I could see in her was that she likes to eat and poo a lot...... haha....... Happy 1 month little Beijing......

I don't know what to think already...... Its supposed to be gone or not?! I dont know, I dont care...... DAMN IT!!!! To whoever who is jealous of this family, well, you can check yourself in to hell for all I care.... I do not believe in what you send, cause I believe that his Almighty will protect me and my family........

Just it....... btw, thank you Rome for accompanying me for the last two days....... Thats it..... tata

My honor

2008-08-01T02:39:00.002+08:00

She is hot, and the scene where she tries to buy time for her sister to look Aslan was reminiscent of Boromir's last stand in the Lord of the Rings movie....... the only difference was Boromir died and she lived........ She also seems to have a similar style to Legolas from the LOTR movie as well...... again the difference was that she is hot, while Legolas is a bit boring........ If only I was Prince Caspian.........

Sometimes in life, you have to make decisions....... and when you do make decision, you got to stand and fight for your decision....... I cannot be fickle in such a dilemma....... My decision stands, and I need a lot of backbone to support it...... I dont meant to hurt the feelings of anybody, its just that I want my decisions to be respected, since I am an adult....... Whatever choices I make, were mine to make in the first place, and I realise, if I was given the second chance, I would still make the same choices, cause it was my choice, not others........

Thank Allah S.W. for his protection of me against the evil of others........ I am do not have the self-confidence in myself, and whatever I show is just a facade to hide it......... I have self-believe that I can do anything I chose to do, but I don't have the ability to show others that I can do it...... It is affecting me....... And somehow, it just hurt to see that when others and myself believe that I can do it, but I can't show that I can do it......... It takes time........ however, I continue to believe in myself..........

Thats it....... I am done...... have fun....... tata......

I did not wait 3 years to give up that easily....... I will go down fighting....... I will make the effort........

The Bedsite Survey

2008-07-31T00:40:00.003+08:00

I am currently doing a survey on the mentality of human minds....... I wanted to do a poll but tagging at my tagboard would suffice....... Below is the survey instructions.......

INSTRUCTIONS

In this survey, imagine that you were knock into a coma in a car accident (touch wood lah).

You woke in the a hospital bed.

You notice that a person is beside you.

You turned your head.

I will give a picture below of the faces of the most likely people you might meet.

Tag the number of the picture which you would not like to see after a coma.

For example:

Ahmad: I vote no 1.

Below is the picture;

HAHAHA!!! Okay...... those are the three pictures........ Just watch the Dark Knights with Zhi Xian and WeiLing...... I would have miss those two if they had come on time....... Instead they made me wait for almost 1 hour.......... But it was cool anyway........ The Dark Knight was awesome....... Heath Ledger performance as the Joker wasn't overrated...... I think he deserve an Oscar....... I like the way he made the pencil disappear (It involves a table and a big bang)........... If I didn't do my research before the movie, I would never have believe that Heath Ledger was the Joker........ Kudos to the late actor........

I did blog yesterday, that the NewPaper wasn't really covering the Brazilian teams trip around Singapore that closely....... I guess I got to apologize...... they manage to uncover some illegal dealings from the Brazilian team....... they were caught at Watson trying to buy chewing gums, which are of course, ILLEGAL here in Singapore........ CNB should have really look at Ronaldinho to see if he tries look for the illegal chewing gum here....... HAHAHA.......

Thats it....... have fun...........

Samseng, samseng samseng samseng......

2008-07-29T21:49:00.001+08:00

African American gangster just looks cool...... I always wanted to be a well-dressed gangster and just whack people for fun...... or rather, ask other gangsters to whack others for me...... Haish..... that would be a cool life.......

I watched Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian...... That movie is actually cool...... I thought it would suck a lot like Harry Potter, but like the previous Narnia, its a good adaptation....... The acting and the storyline was fantastic, and there was actually not too slow....... the actors were great, and hell, I think Narnia is suitable for both adults and children......

Anyway, I am watching Brazil vs Singapore on TV..... No way can I afford to watch them yesterday....... $60-$120 dude....... I know they lost 3-0...... Good job team Singapore........ I was hoping we trash the Brazilians, but the Brazilian did play fantastic football, and Singapore was holding down stubbornly....... Anyway, the NewPaper was covering the Brazilian shopping trip here...... geez..... that was great to see they spend $2400++ in a few seconds but what I want to know whether that party-animal Ronaldinho was spending his nights at Zouk or did any of them visited Lorong 16....... now that is tabloid stuff......... Imagine,

62 year old mamasan claim that she slept with 6 Brazilian, including coach Dunga.

Haha....... thats a bit disgusting..... haha...... anyway, I logging off now...... tata

We all have standards......

2008-07-27T21:24:00.004+08:00

Well, I was blog hopping, and I came upon this trend where some bloggers spell the word "Clique" as "Click"........ Even though the quality of English in this blog is questionable, I do have standards, and that is trying to spell a word correctly (I do make mistakes, but who doesn't?)...... Well, according to Wikipedia, this is what the word "clique" stands for........

A clique is an exclusive group of people who share interests, views, purposes, patterns of behavior, or ethnicity. A clique is a subset of individuals from a larger group, who are more closely identified with one another than the remaining members of the group, and who exchange something among themselves, such as friendship, affection, or information

A clique has an informal structure, and it is composed of more than two people. All the members of the group have some type of relationship with one another, and thus the group is tightly knit together as a type of social network.

So please use the word if only you know the meaning of the word...... So just a brief update people...... hey, I post twice in a day...... cool.......

Thank you God for answering some of my prayers. I hope you can answer the rest of my prayers.

Are you a smoke? Yes, I'm quite a smoke.

2008-07-27T01:24:00.002+08:00

This is the Smoking Tonight with Shirley video....... In the pilot episode of Smoking Tonight, Shirley Ong interviewed Yvonne Lau regarding their Bangkok smoking trip, and Ihkfah Haqiqi regarding her tragic bicycle accident in East Coast Park....... A cool smart video...... haha...... still, Shirley and Yvonne, what the hell is that line for?! Are you a smoke? Yes, I'm quite a smoke........ haha.....

Anyway, I went out today...... We went to Mustafa centre and Bugis Village before I go meet up with Rehan, Ben, and Jeremy at Orchard....... those guys were talking about NS life...... haish..... one month to enjoy life as a free person...... Its for the best anyway....... another journey into a new experience......... haish........ anyway, saw Sunhaj, Taufik at Orchard and met Nurul on the bus home......

Anyway, I was going back today, and I was seating opposite this cute little girl, around 1 year plus....... she was SOOO cute...... she sat opposite me and she was like trying to talk to almost everybody in the train...... she talk to this girl beside me and then to me....... she was just soo cute....... haha...... And before I realised it, the train was in Pasir Ris....... Haha...... sometimes, life is just cute and funny, even if it isnt fair.......

Anyway, I am done...... have fun......

Wah Tah!!!! KEI KO KU!!!!

2008-07-26T00:44:00.004+08:00

Does everybody remember this cute creatures that Pixar created........ I love them....... they were some of the forefathers of all CGI characters, including Shrek, Madagascar, Wall-E and Kung Fu Panda....... My favourite character is those squishy green aliens...... those guys are just cute.....

Anyway, all my weekend plans are push to next week....... I am going to watch the Dark Knights next week, and I am going to meet the clique next week....... and my relatives from KL are staying over with us, so basically, I am almost not available anyway........ Oh, anyway, I know I am not yet one, but next week is Nurse's Day....... Damn...... I love nurses day in the hospital....... I really miss those times...... Haish....... I wonder what will my future holds for me........ I wonder what the future holds for the world rather.........

One thing I learn is determination, optimism, and loyalty are one of the greatest qualities in life...... I was watching Cars, the animated series....... in the final race, the leading car(actor), was leading, but stop right at the finishing line, thus deliberately losing the race, so that he could help a crashed opponent finish the race....... And that was really heartwarming....... there are a lot of non-sporting behavior in sports lately, especially when they mix sports with politics....... which is why we should highlight more on sportsman like behavior...... I hope the coming Olympic will be a glorious event where the world would unite to compete in friendly competition........ Screw those who wants to make political statements during the events........ Sports unite people, politics dont........

Anyway, not much......... have fun people

I won't give up without giving my best.

I love the whole world, its such a brilliant place.....

2008-07-24T00:00:00.002+08:00

I love this commercial....... Boom De Ah Dah...... Its sweet, yet original...... unlike a certain music video....... won't name who....... You know, I dont mind they make a very lousy video, but making it unoriginal just spoils the mood....... I LOVE THE WHOLE WORLD, ITS SUCH A BRILLIANT PLACE......... my favourite part of that video, when Adam burn Jamie's hand...... Haha...... I love the Mythbuster documentary, and Adam was always a favorite because of his crazy, comical antics and imagination........

Singapore will be facing Brazil....... Oooooo....... the likes of Ronaldinho, Kaka, Pato, against Mustafic Fahruddin, Indra Shadan and Alexander Duric....... Oooooo....... Brazil gonna get pawned...... they are going down........ HAHAHA....... no seriously, Singapore will thrash Brazil....... YAH RIGHT!!!! I support the Singapore team, and they will beat Brazil...... GO TEAM SINGAPORE!!!!!

I like this Nursing jokes...... its quite funny actually....... Those nurses would actually understand.......

Differences Between Graduate Nurse and Experienced Nurses

A Graduate Nurse throws up when the patient does. An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up

A Graduate Nurse wears so many pins on their name badge you can´t read it.
An experienced nurse doesn´t wear a name badge for liability reasons

A Graduate Nurse charts too much.
An experienced nurse doesn´t chart enough.

A Graduate Nurse loves to run to codes.
An experienced nurse makes graduate nurses run to codes.

A Graduate Nurse wants everyone to know they are a nurse.
An experienced nurse doesn´t want anyone to know they are a nurse.

A Graduate Nurse keeps detailed notes on a pad.
An experienced nurse writes on the back of their hand, paper scraps, napkins, etc.

A Graduate Nurse will spend all day trying to reorient a patient.
An experienced nurse will chart the patient is disoriented and restrain them.

A Graduate Nurse can hear a beeping I-med at 50 yards.
An experienced nurse can´t hear any alarms at any distance.

A Graduate Nurse loves to hear abnormal heart and breath sounds.
An experienced nurse doesn´t want to know about them unless the patient is symptomatic.

A Graduate Nurse spends 2 hours giving a patient a bath.
An experienced nurse lets the CNA give the patient a bath.

A Graduate Nurse thinks people respect Nurses.
An experienced nurse knows everybody blames everything on the nurse.

A Graduate Nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they will get to change it.
An experienced nurse knows a little blood never hurt anybody.

A Graduate Nurse looks for a chance 'to work with the family.'
An experienced nurse avoids the family.

A Graduate Nurse expects meds and supplies to be delivered on time.
An experienced nurse expects them to never be delivered at all.

A Graduate Nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient.
An experienced nurse will insert a Foley catheter.

A Graduate Nurse always answers their phone.
An experienced nurse checks their caller ID before answering the phone.

A Graduate Nurse thinks psych patients are interesting.
An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.

A Graduate Nurse carries reference books in their bag.
An experienced nurse carries magazines, lunch, and some 'cough syrup' in their bag.

A Graduate Nurse doesn´t find this funny.
An experienced nurse does.

So I am done ladies and gentleman...... have fun.......

If the ships sinks, we will all die cause we got no Lifeboats.....

2008-07-23T02:17:00.003+08:00

That is the Japanese battleship Fuso, dueling with the American destroyer McCall..... It looks easy, but you start off alone, facing a large American fleet bent on sinking the Fuso...... the Japanese navy only sends one battleship to help, the Yamashiro, commanded by an idiotic captain........ If thats not enough, the British manage to send 2 of their best battleship, the Repulse and the Prince of Wales to put holes into the ship...... Damn, if only I have the Yamato or a few Fubuki......

I was reading this article on the Berita Harian........ Its quite funny really...... It happen to a couple at Saudi Arabia...... Their son wanted to get married to a foreign girl, but the wife refused to allow their son to get married....... the husband angry, decides to take action....... here's the best part...... the husband took action by........ GETTING A SECOND WIFE....... Thats STUPID!!!! It is true actually, though I find the story stupid....... Really stupid....... I may be a Muslim, but I find that sometimes, Muslim man like to use that loophole rather stupidly....... just because you are allowed to marry 4 wives doesnt mean you should...... Not for stupid reasons such as that..... There is even a trend among some guys that having more wife shows how MACHO they are...... Really...... at what cost?

Anyway, I am better now, I am calm, happy again........ Hopefully, Allah S.W will protect my family....... we are after all under his protection and guidance.......

I am getting tired....... see you soon........

I want to tell you that you are the most beautiful thing I ever seen...... I really want to talk to you......

Sir, we are taking in Water and your first officer has committed ritual Suicide!!!

2008-07-20T22:33:00.003+08:00

For your info, that was the Fubuki........ I was fleet Admiral Ahmad and my flagship is the Yamato, the most powerful battleship of All-time........ It was the Battle of Midway and the scenario was what happen if the Yamato had caught up with the American aircraft carriers....... The American ships were throwing themselves towards my fleet like flies to fly swatter....... Of course, a few of my destroyers sunk because we were charging through a hail of American battleships, destroyers and airplanes....... we wipe them all dead.......

The game is call Battlestations: Midway...... you can control subs, planes, and all manners of ships in World War 2....... I was in a PT boat raiding Japanese transport alongside the famous PT-109, led by then a young Lt. John F. Kennedy....... Haha..... at least I get to live my dream of being a fleet Admiral........

I will blog again soon...... Tata.......

I'll get you my Pretty...... And your little dog too!!!!

2008-07-19T01:36:00.002+08:00

Long before there was Harry Potter and his merry friends, there was the Wicked Witch of the West.......... One of the most iconic villains in TV history....... the late Margaret Hilton in the role of the Wicked Witch of the West is just captivating........ How could you forget when she screams "I AM MELTING!!!!"........ Shouldn't kids these days be watching this instead of Paris Hilton and the Bouncing Balls? (Okay, I made that up...... :P ) ...... the good old days.........

So now, to local Singapore news........ There was this controversy about the National Day music video...... apparently, it was a copy of a Japanese video, but according to the makers of this video, its a "remake" of the said video to invoke our Singaporean spirits....... I do not know about Singapore spirits, but I actually felt insulted that the Singapore spirits involves being somebody with lacks of imagination....... where was this spirit when I was copying people's homework in school?! I mean, we got great local talents singing and the best you could do is a remake?! Comeon, Singaporeans, give the producers a break........ if you are really so good, go remake the video......... Still, while the song is great, the days where songs like "Count on Me, Singapore." and "We Are Singapore" are gone........ the producers seem to think that all of us are Hady Mirza or Stephanie Sun when in reality, we are just good old Willian Hung.......

Another Singapore ad that has Singaporeans fuming is this Swensen ad...... Apparently, those ads seems to show obedient, subservient kids when given Swensen's ice-cream, comparable to dogs....... HOW DARE YOU SWENSENS!!! Dogs are way more obedient than kids......... I dont get it why they make so much fuss about it, considering the ad wasn't even close to kiddy porn than Hi 5 was....... Then again, Singaporeans tend to treat their maids that way, so maybe thats why they find it so offensive........

Seriously, I think that maids in Singapore should be given rest day and severe protection from abuse...... seriously, some Singaporeans are treating maids like dogs just because they pay $600 monthly to their maid....... for your info, thats a human being........ what if I treat you kids that way?!

Speaking of slaves, Christiano Ronaldo, you aint one...... I dont care what Sepp Blatter says, you aint a slave....... You are under contract, and that is call being "PROFESSIONAL"....... besides, slaves are not paid BILLIONS OF DOLLARS to do something they LOVE....... I see a lot of nurses that love what they do, yet forgotten and treated worse off than you, and it probably took them more than a year to earn what you make in a WEEK....... God damn it, Ronaldo, you aint no slave.......... don't make me call you a spoil wussy....... Oh and to end this paragraph, I make a call to Arsene Wenger........ RESCUE GARETH BARRY....... Why the hell did you sell Gilberto?! Gilberto is not only a defensive midfielder, he could be an emergency Centre-back....... dont tell me you are going to rely on Senderos...... GET GARETH BARRY!!! Or at least David Villa........

So now I am ending my ramblings........ Have fun............

I still waiting for your reply..... I hate this feeling........

Is it really All Fair In Love and War?

2008-07-17T02:06:00.003+08:00

This touching photo is of a couple who were killed in the Siege of Sarajevo during the Bosnian War.......... The man, a Bosnian Serb...... the woman, a Bosnian Muslim........ both were killed trying to escape the siege...... the woman who did not die instantly, crawl towards the man to hug and cuddle him as she dies......... Its a really sad tragic story......... Love and War does not really discriminate race, religion or ideology........ So why do we always clamor for war, when love is an option? The quote by the parents of the couple may just explain it.......

"That’s proof this is not a war between Serbs and Moslems. It’s a war between crazy people, between monsters. That’s why their bodies are still out there."

I was so preoccupied with some of my thoughts that Ben reminds me....... Try not betray the clique.... Maybe...... Maybe I was too idealistic....... I damn hell forgot the people who were behind me for the past three years...... I may have never graduate if it wasn't for you guys, and certaintly, the past three years were a bittersweet memory for me....... Please guys, if I ever start showing signs that I will betray you people, please inform me....... dont wait for me to begin my traitorous act........ this is for all of my friends.........

Anyway, I just like blogging....... Let's pray for peace.......

Why so Serious?

2008-07-16T01:35:00.002+08:00

Damn...... No wonder they are calling for an Oscar for Heath Ledger before the movie even comes out...... The late actor seems to potray the famous villain quite well...... I have watched some of Heath Ledger older role especially in The Patriot...... but from the Dark Knights trailer, he acts well, and hell, he sounds more like the Joker than Heath Ledger....... I think it is at least deserving for his role to be nominated for an Oscar....... Of course, I like the Batman films since young ( I was more a Batman fan then a Spiderman fan, cause a rich man that buys cool equipment is more realistic than a guy that shoots webs )....... but the films directed by Christopher Nolan are much more realistic and provide a deeper character development.......

I am now outside sleeping in the living room while my parents and siblings sleeps in on the stage after another weird event....... I really hate this shit...... I am not scared but by god's will, I beg you whatever you are to get out of my house and stop disturbing our family......

I want to go see little Beijing........ they say she looks cute and chubby...... but I have been sick all week and of course, with a problem...... haish.......

I am really tired right now..... I go blog later....... tata........

I cant help but stop thinking of you.......

There is always hope

2008-07-09T14:09:00.004+08:00

You know, I am always fascinated by UN Peacekeepers........ they are soldier, diplomat, mediator, constructor....... its like they are the modern knights of peace....... Of course, some of their scandals hurt their reputation, but still, it is mystifying........

I dont care what people want to say, but I did visit KL over the weekend, and I had urgent stuff to deal with at home....... I dont think I have to explain to people what they were but rest assured, it is no joyride......... just because I am always cheery doesnt mean I dont have problems too.......... I dont need people to understand, just know that unemployment wasn't my choice, it was circumstances........

Anyway, a spot of good news........ yesterday, Ms Lim Su Yee sent an sms saying that her waterbag just burst, 2 weeks before the expected time...... and as of 2.1oam this morning, she gave birth to; according to her- "her naughty little princess"........ Congratulation to Rayson and Michele on your first daughter....... may her life be blessed......... And whatever you call her, we still call her Beijing.......

Anyway, I havent talk about soccer ever since Singapore loses to Uzbekistan 6-3......... Anyway, Big Phil Scolari has joined the Chelskis, adding another figure to the roster of managers for the EPL Fight Club........ How will Big Phil Scolari and Chelski match the other fighters in the fight club this season would be awesome....... He will match wits with the current champion, Old-Boot-Throwing-Scot Ferguson and his devils....... Other well known figure includes Professor-Voyeur Wenger and his Pizza boys and Fat-Spaniard Benitez and the Merseyside lads........ also do not discount the talents of the Kevin the King Keegan, David Moyes, and Juande Ramos among the great talent pools of manager......... also adding to the roster includes the new whipping boys, Tony Mobray of WBA, Phil Brown of Hull City and Tony Pulis of Stoke City...... haha..... I sound so much like a boxing commentator......

Anyway, not much...... by the way, I am still praying for two other miracles to happen...... have fun......

Pull lads pull.....

2008-07-03T00:04:00.003+08:00

I just discovered a reason why communism was so popular..... If you are poor, disillussioned, depressed, and somehow, just feel so worthless, and you listen to that song that they are playing and keep looking at this picture, hell, you will be communist too!!! Trust me, just look at the picture and on your speakers really, really loud to that music and play it....... if you dont have the mood to be a communist before that song end, than I am wrong....... try it....... haha..... I am going to be arrested for preaching communism..... haha.... Communism does not work people.....

Anyway, still nothing yet....... But I just dont care if I get it or not..... I realised that I did my best for the job interview, and the ball is in their court, so its between them and god..... as for me, I am not getting my hopes up to high....... But thanks Ayul, sorry I couldnt join you guys on Sunday.....

Anyway, I got Civilization 4, the game where you are the supreme ruler of a country and under your leadership, can you lead your country to greatness...... I got to say, in this game, the AI is fantastic...... They use diplomacy quite often to advance themself, and try to get open border agreements with you so that they can spy on your forces before declaring war....... And they got funny personality, not to be rude to their memory, but the in-game Gandhi and Napolean are warmongers..... and Julius Caesar, Alexander, and Hauyna Capac would have backstabbed you if had dropped your soap...... Genghis Khan and Elizabeth I are sweet and fair, and so is Haeshapsut and Catherine if you dont mess with them....... Isabella and Chairman Mao are a bit loony but Washington is okay.......

And they actually got religion in the game, thought not so influential in the game so as to avoid controversy...... in one game, France founded Hinduism, Germany discovered Taoism and the Greeks discovered Buddhism...... If you think that is strange, wait till you realised that the Inca's founded Judaism, the Arabs founded Christianity and the Americans discovered Islam...... yup ironic isnt it...... Haha......

Anyway, oil prices are on the rise, and global warming and disaster will continue people...... It will never return back to the good old days, and the government is powerless to stop it, just like every other government in the world, cause inflation has no answer....... What we might be going through is the prelude to a global Great depression II........ I dont know, I hate this pessimistic talk, but I am an optimist realist, while being optimistic, I saw the reality of things......

anyway, I going to sleep...... have fun.......

You know what you should Do? You should go kill yourself......

2008-06-26T01:31:00.002+08:00

I like that phrase..... I dont know what it means though....... Haha.... I really dont...... Well, if I was THAT smart, I would be chasing my PHD now, would I??? Anyway, like the new song? I wonder if put that song up before but I going to put it up back again cause it really suits the blog at the moment...... Stop arguing..... there is still Noraniza Idris's Tinting waiting in the bylines.....

I really want the job...... I have a dream....... I HAVE A DREAM..... that someday..... I will be working....... Tell you the truth, its really hard being jobless...... Not physically of course but mentally...... your mind is just inactive and after some time, brain cells starts dying....... The horrors of unemployment is horrible......

And I hate anticipating........ Still no reply regarding my paramedic application....... I am 50-50 regarding whether I could proceed to the interview round..... I think I did well, but I know I was a nervous wreck, and people who knows me knows that how my nervous wreck affects everything I do....... Haish....... There is no letter in the letter box, so at least hope is still there...... I pray to the Almighty alone...... What is your purpose for me?

Anyway, I pity my mum..... some of my aunts are suing her for helping them get a share of my late Uncle's inheritance...... seriously, I think they are ungrateful..... While I pitied my mum, I had wanted to remain neutral along with my dad and sisters cause we thought it was my mum's family problem and we should not interfere...... But when you drop a nuclear bomb, the fallout would spread to other areas.... Let just say that if I ever see them in public, dont blame me for being rude.......

Anyway, speaking of nuclear bomb, I was reading this scary novel "Resurrection Day" by Brendan DuBois....... It is set in alternate history...... what if on 1962, the Cuban Missile crisis had been mishandled by the Americans and President J.F.Kennedy....... what if the US bomb Cuba and Russia retaliates with nuclear bombs and all-out nuclear firefight began...... the story, while setting it grim for the Americans and Russians, it would have solve all of our problems....... The story supposedly said Americans would have destroyed Russia to the Stone Age with major US cities destroyed..... the Vietnam War would never have occur because the Americans pull out all troops to rebuild their devastated country...... Communist system would slowly be destroyed..... Korea would be united...... Britain would regain its role as a superpower due to the weaken position of the American..... And all the countries saw the devastating effects of the Nuclear bombs and complied with the UN to ban nuclear..... Imagine that....... woah....... Its a really deep story....... I enjoy it actually........

So not much........ I was wondering if you want me to send you another email if you are reading this....... But if you do rread this, than I guess that would be pointless...... maybe I might....... Take care everyone......

Respect my Authoritah....

2008-06-23T20:35:00.003+08:00

Fat bastard..... Haha..... Respect my authoritah.... Eric Cartman is so cool...... His confidence in himself is just so admirable....... Haha......

Anyway, I put up Nurseblog.sg up on the links....... A collections of post by 4 different nurses...... Those who wants to view on what a life as a nurse is all about can go there, as it covers 4 different types of nurses..... The ICU nurse, the OT nurse, the Psychiatric nurse and the Geriatric nurse...... and if you still want more, you can read up Pei Si, Chang How, Qian Qian, Bel, Florence or Eugene's blog..... Lets pray that I dont have to advertise for this guys anymore...... haha...... I hate long periods of uncertainty..... I just pray to Allah S.W, since only the Almighty can help me......

Damn, life sucks so much..... and I hate WoW addiction...... But sometimes, being a dwarf on a mission is cool...... I like being HewhoeatDuck, the Dwarven hunter who swears to fight for the Alliance and kill as much blood elves as possible..... I recently joined a Guild called Powerful Allies..... With a guild, I can join raids much easily..... In one raid, I join a hunter and 2 rogues in an attempt to kill some Mother...... We can usually can kick ass with two or three since rogues can avoid almost any hit due to their high dodge rate...... What we never count was that the GameMaster reduce all dodge rate across the board, thus this rogues can actually be killed...... but Mother dont need to actually break down the rogues.... no..... she just wipe out the whole team in a swipe....... what a total rip off......

Anyway, i logging off...... btw, I was happy for a while yesterday...... I never thought it would be meaningful to somebody...... bye bye.....

Football is no Classical Ballet

2008-06-21T01:11:00.002+08:00

I love this commercial....... When I saw it, I can't help but really like this heartwarming commercial and it almost bring me tears........ I admit that sometimes, I do get angry with my own father, arguing wi.......th him......... but which teenagers doesn't at times........ I am rebellious too you know...... But I love him, and sometimes, I can never imagine life without my father and how I am going to cope....... So far, my father has been the most influential person in my life........

My bills and loans and collating, my savings dwindling up to a point where if I was a bank, I would have dried up........ Why can't I serve NS soon........ at least money flows in...... I wonder if Rehan is coping as Recruit Rehan......... Haha.........

I envy those student nurses who are now Staff Nurses...... yah, all of you....... I know it is hard for you, trying to cope and adapt to your new tougher roles as staff nurses-in-charge........ yet, I envy you all because you are doing something you love...... the undefined passion for nursing....... I would love a chance to do nursing, but if I can't, then at least in the same field....... please answer my prayers, God........

Anyway, not much........ Wei Ling, Happy BirthDAY!!!! To the AF, sorry I cant follow you all yesterday........ I only came back from Johor at 12midnight....... so sorry........ I miss you all.......

Yeah, but I'm playing Hello Kitty Island Adventure.

2008-06-17T14:45:00.002+08:00

His name is HeWhoEatDuck....... He is a Dwarf Hunter....... he goes around killing rabbits..... he travel the world to hunt animals and dance and drink at taverns around the World....... Of Warcraft.......

A picture with the pretty ship stewardess.....

Travelling across the cold mountainous region delivering beer 24 hrs a day.....

A visit to the Under water world......

Haha....... Nothing much...... :P Have fun!!!

My Condolences to their families......

2008-06-13T23:18:00.002+08:00

I would like to raise an issue...... Two NS man have died in two straight days........ My condolences to their family in losing their son or brothers........ I am set to be enlisted on September. My friends are Tekong at the moment......... And to hear that two NS man dying is really scary....... I do not think this is a training problem........ You cant just blame SAF's gruelling training....... I came to realise this each time I remember of the late Antonio Puerta...... A fit, young, trained professional footballer, who suddenly collapsed on the field.......

I believe that this is a disease of the modern world, a silent, sudden myocardial infarction....... Its easy to put the blame on SAF, but the root of the cause goes much much deeper......... Undetected heart defects, diseases and high cholestrol....... Myocardial infarction can easily kill a person the first time it strikes and by that time, of course that person has no history of heart problems........ I call for stricter cardiac and heart assesstment during NS medical check up, as well as more education regarding such health problems in a much younger age....... Its never too young to know such things that affects life and death.......

Yes..... Finally I get to blog...... my whole com crashed so bad that if a priest was nearby, he would have performed the last rites on it...... and how convenient too..... it collapsed on an IT Fair Week...... so now, meet my new lappy...... he will be serving my blogging and emailing needs from now on....... Welcome to the team lappy....... My old com will still recontinue its fine services, as it will be repaired and donated to another needy family...... Haha...... like so official notice like that.......

Anyway....... I applied for SCDF paramedic specialist....... I went for their job test on Wednesday...... shall not elaborate as I think its 50-50........ still, I think I still might have a chance, I pray real hard I get it...... If I get over this hurdle, I still got that interview panel to face........ I really hope I get this......... Then it will really heal the pain that never left me for the past 3 years, the pain of rejection letters...........

Anyway, not much now....... tata gentlemans........

2008-06-06T13:56:00.003+08:00

My Dream bike..... ahhhh.... its oozes with style..... if I could zip around the countryside with my Vespa...... Discover the world with a Vespa....... so stylish.......

Zhi Xian!!! Wah lau!!! Too much lah!!!

Survey Instructions:
Remove one question from above & replace it with your own.
Tag eight people, list them down at the end of the post.
Notify them in their chatbox that they've been tagged.

1) How long will you wait for someone you love?
- Ermm... That depends if she is still waiting mah...

2) What do you hope for now?
- World Peace...... and an X-box 360!!!

3) What is the last thing you do/say if tomorrow is the end of the world?
- Tell everybody I know how much they matter to me.

4) Do you hate your friends sometimes?
- If I hate them, they won't have been my friends.

5)What kind of guy/girl is your dream boyfriend/girlfriend
- Rich. Beautiful. Sexy. Haha....

6)What would you do if your best friend has been kidnapped?
- That depends. If they are terrorist and wants me to convince my government to do something irrationale or stupid, then I would do my darn best. If they just want my money, than "Hah! Go ahead! Kill him/her!".... Haha.... kidding....

7) Who will you choose between your ex boyfriend & your current boyfriend?
- What?! Do I look gay?! I feel so insulted!!! I suing for defamation!!! You will be talking to my lawyer!!!

8) What's your desired age of marriage?
- After my Degree.... Which should be latest by 27....

9) Are you happy with your life now?
- Of course. But they are still more in life I want to discover.

10) What if your crush asked you out?
- She did?! OMG!!! WHAT SHOULD I WEAR?!

11) What will you do when you have a crush that knows you have a crush on him/her?
- OMG!!! OMG!!! WE ALL REMEMBER WHAT HAPPEN THE LAST TIME!!!!

12) What feelings do you hate the most?
- Helplessness.... I just cant stand it....

13) What will you do if you fall in love with a guy/girl?
- Hmm.... Think really really hard.......

14) What are you looking forward to in the coming weeks?
- Yes. This coming week could be a life changer.

15) The most important thing in your life.
- My family, friends, and my good old reliable N70....

16) Who do you hope to always be there for you?
- The Almighty, Allah S.W and his messenger, Muhammad S.A.W....

17) Do you find life meaningless?
- Only god knows our purpose in life. So no.

18) Where you think can find true love?
- Geez.... I dunno. At the toilet bowl maybe?!

19) Do you believe that there's 'True Love'?
- Should be. I dunno. I still havent found it yet!!! Is it still at the toilet bowl?!

20) What's your greatest wish?
- Like I say... World Peace, and an X-Box360....

21) What will you change if you can turn back time?
- If I learn anything from Red Alert, is that time travel can have serious adverse effect in the future. Then again, if only I could make my grandfather the King of England... Haha.....

Take off Qns.6 & replace with "What would you do if your best friend has been kidnapped?"

"Tagged by: Celeste and Zhixian
The Eight people below, please dont reject & dont break the rules. I am sorry. I hate doing this too... -_-

* Roman
* Hairul
* Nurul
* Peisi
* Florence
* Jordan
* Haziq
* Amber

Oh well........ I log off now....... the world is not enough......

2008-06-05T02:37:00.003+08:00

I really hate this coffee addiction...... of all things, I have a weakness for coffee...... combine with the fact that somehow, there may be possible links between my hand tremors and coffee..... Another thing I hate is my chocolate allergy..... of all thing, I got to be allergic to chocolate...... why cant I be allergic to dogs, or dust, or stupid people...... why do I have to be allergic to chocolate...... I can't stand that lust I have...... the urge, the desire, to go to Starbucks, and get my Mocha Frappucino........ Oh my god, the effects of Coffee Capitalism is working on me...... Rescue me........ somebody........

Anyway, I feel like a horrible friend....... Rehan is going into Tekong today....... I only message him 2am this morning...... while I was sending him an sms, I accidently delete his number....... So I lost his new Tekong hp number...... Luckily, I still have my past 300++ smses that I cant be bothered to delete....... so I manage to get his non-Tekong hp number and send him a sms....... Still, I cant help but feel like a horrible friend....... Haish.......

As the days goes by, more and more of us will be split apart....... We cant blame each other, this is the Game of Life....... Reality Edition....... We will face roadblocks ahead....... The career phase, the marriage phase, the children phase, the retirement phase, and regretfully, the rest-in-peace phase....... I treasure the past, but I look to the future....... There is a world for me too explore, and I am sure for all you too....... Take care, brothers and sisters....... we will always be there each other....... Till the end.......

Anyway....... My hands are beginning it tremors again....... I need sleep....... tata.....

2008-06-03T23:27:00.002+08:00

I watch Indiana Jones today with Von, Peisi, Michele, Ben and Rehan as a farewell outing just for Rehan who would be joining our glorious army for his NS (I know..... Sound so similar to Communist propaganda)........ The movie was great...... Harrison Ford again manage to make Indiana Jones comes alive despite the age gap with his last Indiana Jones movie...... And Cate Blanchett was so hot and so cool as the villain........ and fight scene was again, an Indiana Jones speciality....... but the ending is crap!!! Seriously crap...... You cannot end a good story by making attributing it to something like aliens...... its just didnt make sense and that spaceship scene was total spoiler...... Whose idea was it? George Lucas or Steven Spielberg?

Anyway, today was fun........ me, Von, Peisi, Michele, Ben and Rehan meet up at Lau Pa Sat for lunch..... Ben was supposed to work, but in the end no show after lunch (as influenced by the master of NO-SHOW )......... Rehan, the guy we having lunch for, decide to come late for work...... so we go watch movie....... me and Von couldnt stop singing out the Indiana Jones theme song...... I think little Beijing must have love the movie cause she kick her mothers tummy rather excitingly during one of the fight scenes.......

Anyway, we then parted ways....... I follow Michele to E-Hub cause she wanted to go bowling with her sisters but in the end, after looking at the E-Hub list, decide against it....... so we stop by the arcade before we finally went home..... my poor legs are dying.......

So now, after dealing with the affairs of the Kingdom of Pasier Rise, I now decide to go to sleep........ tata.....

Hopes faded after 33mins.....

2008-06-03T00:25:00.010+08:00

Well, I would be lying if I say I never expect Singapore to get trashed by an on-form Uzbekistan team...... This is an Uzbekistan team that trashed Saudi Arabia...... Asian football giant..... But I held the slightest of hope....... South Africa World Cup 2010....... What we denounce as an impossible target actually might, in smallest ray of hope, might be a reality.......

Seriously, I think Singapore could have done better....... What actually happen to the miserly defence? 7 goals?! Seriously, Baihakki Khaizan is like Aide Iskandar, and not in a good way..... he clumsily clear any threatening ball, often, resembling his predecessor....... Precious, Bennett and Baihakki were allowing the Uzbekistan to roam the Singapore half unchallenged...... The only defender worth mentioning was Mohd Nor Rahman....... He wasnt afraid make that important challenge when he needs to.... In fact, it was exciting for a moment at 2-2...... They can do better....... Go TEAM SINGAPORE!!!! GO LIONS GO LIONS GO!!!!

I went out with Zhi Xian, Celeste and Jessie today to E-Hub.......So long never meet those girls........ We were supposed to watch Made of Honor, but I was late......... So we went to K-Box....... It was only $10 per person and you get a free membership too....... It was like woah........ I couldnt object you know...... The whole session was crazy........ I think I nearly went deaf....... Anyway, here are the pictures....... Me and Jessica
Me and Celeste

Zhi Xian went crazy cause it was her CRAZY song........

Anyway, I love being in Nationstates........ The community allows for us to deal with "current affairs" in the world of Nationstates where many imaginary nations exist....... Its fun really, debating in a mock-UN, argueing and bickering on resolutions to pass...... It allows for civilised debates, some roleplaying, and even outright barbaric retorts (Imagine being in the UN, and when another delegate makes a proposal, you stand up and shout "DONT TALK COCK!").......

Anyway not much...... I need to go sleep now...... Have fun.......

2008-06-01T14:57:00.002+08:00

My dream h0me...... I want to retire at a coastal town somewhere with sand beaches, and quiet scenery............. probably open up a small coffee house, just to keep sure money flowing in..... Well, a man can dream, can he?

Seriously, yesterday, I went to somebodies wedding...... I dont really know whos but somehow my parents must have known them....... the funny thing was I must have known them too cause they were saying stuff like "OMG!!! You grown so much!!! You and my child used to be good friends!"....... Apparently, we were cradle-hood friends, until most of them emigrated to KL for greener pastures..... And when asked they were doing, they were like saying "Oh, I am doing a Bachelor in etc".......... geez...... At that time, I felt my diploma and my SNB card were like so inferior to their bachelors...... nothing against them but what the hell happen to me......... If my cradle-hood buddies are chasing bachelors and degrees, and I still staring at my diploma, unemployed........ darn.......

Not that I dont have plans to get a degree....... I plan to save up my pay for a part-time degree..... then hopefully after my degree, maybe go after an advance diploma...... which is why I cling on hope on working in a public hospital....... I got my eyes set on Khoo Teck Puat Hospital....... a 10-bedded C-class ward....... damn...... I really want to practise nursing there....... To some, its laziness, but to me, I prefer to work in a less stressful environment, cause in that way, I am able to practise good nursing care to my patient without the pressure and stress on me........ REALLY, ITS NOT AN EXCUSE.........

Anyway, I know its horrible of me to make fun of people in trouble but its to raise awareness of an issue....... I think we should stop donating money and send over frogs to Myanmar cause the government said they rather survive on frogs then the chocolate bars given by the aid groups....... seriously, if George W.Bush wish to be a wild rodeo cowboy for one last time, he should just invade Myanmar and kick those old millitary juntas out....... Hell, I bet Osama Bin Laden would join him........ seriously, the people of Myanmar need aid to cope for a while they rebuild their home........ People are trying to help and instead of thanking the international community, you insult them........

Then again, I might admire the Myanmar goverment style of kicking the refugees out of the camps and telling them to go rebuild their home........ It is very extreme, you are right, but people of Myanmar must realised that rebuilding their homes is their effort....... the international community can only help...... you need to rebuild your own home........

So thats its....... tata.......

2008-05-31T02:00:00.002+08:00

I remember when I had to retire Thoeatduck, my Dwarven alter ego in World of Warcraft...... The dwarven hunter with his pet raptor, roaming the lands, preaching interracial marriages of man and orcs, rescuing poor noobs who ventures too far in enemy territory, defending human cities and shouting that the humans "are cowards and need dwarves to protect their cities"..... trying to get on a ship....... guerilla fighting the orcs alone....... ahhhh...... those days........ I still remember Fifi's favourite food...... milk.......... damn my slow old duke of ancient times computer......... i just need to post happy thoughts at the moment....... life just pissed me and spits at me.......

2008-05-30T20:30:00.002+08:00

Okay..... I got bored...... so I look around...... I just realised....... I got the most photos of the class....... seriously, just miss you guys....... Have fun in your new careers, wrecking the already wrecked world as you are all meant to do.......

I am in a bad mood anyway....... just really really bad mood....... so I am not going to write much...... tata.....

Raise high the black flag, Children.....

2008-05-27T19:07:00.003+08:00

I am going to try and give all my post titles...... some of them got no titles....... Darn...... I used to have titles on my Frienster blog (My first blog. )........ Now I am going to give titles to all the post here....... all 310 post....... its going to take the whole day, and of course, I got too much time....... Hahaha........

I was reading the papers....... I just realised that its hard being the Prime Minister...... People look at PM Lee and say his job is easy, but I dont want to be in his shoes....... I really admire him for his strentgh....... The whole world is going into a crisis, and inflation and recession looming, his country was granted sovereignty over a piece of rock, a fanatic terrorist on the loose, he need to feed his people, and a crazy opposition member just defame his good name..... and to top it off, his mother is in hospital in a stroke....... and you think your headache is worse........ My regards goes to PM Lee and his mother......

I played Cossacks: European Wars...... the game set in an era when shooting means standing out in the open, and picking off each other with volleys of musketballs and cannons....... I played as England in my first game against Turkey...... I tried to build my economy and attempt to create well trained equip army....... I was on an island, so that means a navy would be a priority protecting the base...... unfortunately, the Turkish navy got wind of my plans to build up my naval power their fleets attack my small navy...... so now unopposed, their troops land on my island....... despite fierce resistant in which my cannons had to fire at point blank range in order to decimate their whole calvary regiments, and my musketeers trade volleys with Turkish Elite Jannissary in order to hold the line and allow my Highlander regiments to be fully formed..... however, the ever irritating Turkish navy smash the line apart with their devastating cannons, and the whole line fell apart...... The Highlanders unit arrived and beat the Turkish army to hell, only for their navy to come and blew the legs of my Scots....... so I surrendered......

Anyway, let me get back to naming all my post....... tatas......

2008-05-25T11:46:00.002+08:00

Okay..... so thats the last photos I got....... Thats it...... No more....... I just realised this is post #310....... Oh woah........ I blog for that long??? Cool........ Anyway, like the new layout? People have been complaining that grey is dull, so I'll pick white....... I like simple layouts, not too flashy layout....... And yes, I love myself a lot so I plaster pictures of me on my own blog, if you dont mind......

And what happened to Saving Our Souls...... Its there alright....... But I decide that Saving our Souls is so cliche due to these environmentalist....... So I pick another one....... House of Ahmads: Worship Me Bitches........ Its actually from Christian Siriano, one of the Project Runway winners....... He was making a guess appearance on Ugly Betty and his entrance is like sooo cool....... So its mostly from him........ I hope it doesnt become cliche....... cliche is such a cliche word........ Hahaha

Anyway, I want to watch Indiana Jones...... Geez, I never realised they were going to make a sequel with George Harrison as an old adventurer....... Seriously, imagine if they attempt another sequel with George Harrison 20years down the road??? Indiana Jones and the Search of the First Wheelchair......... I WANNA WATCH INDIANA JONES!!!! COME ON MOVIE BUDDIES!!!! RELIVE THE OLD DAYS!!! WATCH SOME MOVIES!!! WATCH SOME MOVIES!!!!!

Anyway, I am downloading the Battle of Waterloo movie.,..... thank god for youtube...... if not I would never have found it........ I love that movie....... I remember watching it as a kid....... I always wanted to be the Duke of Wellington........ oh well.......

Anyway...... not much....... tata

2008-05-13T22:52:00.009+08:00

This video is nice....... Jose Mourinho host a talk-show with Sven-Goran Eriksson and Wayne Rooney, and he invite guest caller including Arsene Wenger, Alex Ferguson, and Rafa Benitez..... Its quite funny........ A spoiler...... Voyeur.........

Anyway, wanted to blog a lot....... but then forget it....... I'll just post the graduation pictures...... This is from my mom's N91, so it isnt that good quality....... once the pictures arrived, and I can steal more photos from other people's blog, I'll post it....... so enjoy the pictures.....

The Days leading up To Graduation

This is a snapshot of Yvonne playing Shrek 2 on the X-Box....... look at a face of pure concentration........ she still lose by the way.......
A closer snapshot........ This was when we were supposed to have fun outside....... in the end, they go to their second home.........
My cousin Indri....... I got bored so I just shoot close snapshots of her........ she is sooo cute.....

Aww..... the puppy dog face..... she learn it from the cousin...... HAHA
Isnt she just cute........

My father got hold of the gown and went to try it on........ Due to lack of seatings, the school sent only one ticket to each graduands.... We had to book extra tickets by going calling up the school...... I call them up and the school said to call back on the 13th of May, but actually it was on the 12th of May, so a large mix of cock-up........ In the end, only my mum gets ticket to see me graduate........ My dad was to join us for the reception.......

But, some benefits of having siblings in the same school is that my sister agree to volunteer for graduation duty, in exchange, the lecturers sneak my father and sister in....... So my whole family get to see........ And I am very happy person in the world at the moment...... Thanks Fatin......

GRADUATION DAYAs usual, my name is first on the list....... Pretty obvious lah...... which is a good thing cause in a batch of 1000++ graduates, the clapping gets softer and softer as time goes on....... and it helps if you got loud friends.......
Photo with the family......
My parents and me with Ihkfak, Rehan and Eugene.......
Ben, Me Ihkfak, Rehan and Eugene......

The guys....... it was funny really....... I went to school with Haqiqi cause the graduates need to come earlier than the guest....... So I did not change into formal clothes first cause it will be crazy to walk in hot weather sweating up till the armpits......... As I enter the school toilet to change, I saw Eugene........ then a cubicle door open and Rehan came out...... Haha...... we were fated to meet in the toilet.......

So thats it lah....... later....... tata

2008-05-09T20:19:00.005+08:00

I just love Butters....... He is just so cute, innocent, and stupid........ Of all the South Park characters, Butters is just my favourite....... Look at him men!!!! HAHA!!!!! I watch South Park too much........

Anyway....... Yesterday went to collect my graduation robes....... OMG!!! Yeah!!! GRADUATING!!!! SOON!!!! SOON!!!! SOON!!!! OMG!!!! ITS GRADUATION!!!! ITS GRADUATION!!!!! 3 Years of suffering and its GRADUATION!!!! GRADUATION!!!! Damn it but I miss school.........

Anyway....... yesterday went to collect the graduation robes with the clique and celebrate Michele's birthday....... Happy 20th Year Old!!!! Anyway, we then went to the E-Hub at Downtown East....... The place is totally boredom........ Its damn hell boring...... there is only food........ boo!!!! And I thought that Pasir Ris would be a bit MORE fun......... damn it!!! So we then ended up at another attraction at Pasir Ris....... they call it their SECOND HOME...... My only home!!! We had chocolate fondue and play Monopoly (BOO!!!! I DAMN HELL LOST!!!)........ well, a good day yesterday anyway........

By the way, if you miss people, post a picture of them......... let me try to do this BEN!!! Looks like him!!!
Haqiqi!!! Haha!!!! Looks like her as well.....
Michele...... Definitely.......

Rehan!!!

Miss Ley!!!

CHERRY!!!!!

ME!!! :-P

Anyway, Singaporean are so evil....... typical........ Damn it, in a train, when you look at a pregnant lady, gave her a damn seat!!! This is typical of Singaporean!!!! Clearly, we need MORE EDUCATION AND REMINDERS!!!!! We were in the train with Michele, and clearly her tummy screams PREGNANT!!! Yet nobody gave up their seat!!! Well, then I ask her, whether she has ever receive any seat from kind strangers since her pregnancy....... Her reply was non...... sometimes she said that people refues to give up their seat, once, she even saw a pregnant lady with a much bigger tummy standing in a packed bus....... That is ugly....... And I know Michele would give up her seat to those with disability, elderly or pregnant lady without hesitation....... TYPICAL SINGAPOREAN!!!! STOP SPREADING OUR KINDNESS TO MYANMAR OR ANY OTHER COUNTRIES IF WE CAN'T EVEN BE CONSIDERATE AT HOME!!!

Anyway...... Not much...... HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MOM!!!!!

2008-05-01T20:38:00.002+08:00

Okay....... So its first of May!!! LABOUR DAY!!! So somehow, we are in May. Damn, when you look back, 5 months is consider just a short time..... Oh well...... I am here to blog......

First on the list........ The current food crisis........ Everyday, food prices are rocketting like wild-fire........ Daily food supplies are now like commodities, which might be as valuable as gold....... And the worst off are the poor people..... I dont mean Singaporeans....... I meant those famine hit countries....... Those 3rd world countries children which depended heavily on international food aid from the UN, having to suffer because the UN just dont have enough supply to last...... Yet, people are taking advantage of this situation...... play up the fears...... ruin the economy........ I fear, this would be the second Great Depression....... Oh please let be wrong.........

Anyway, some intresting facts....... Did you know, that the second president of Singapore, Dr Benjamin Henry Sheares, main contribution to the field of medicine was a technique to create an artificial vagina for those born without one. A modification of it is still used for sex change operations today. Yah, like woah........

So in other topics....... I know Anugerah Planet Muzik is like ages ago, but I just want to comment...... Its time we get our own Award show for our own local artist......... There are a lot of local Malay artist that just oozing in quality, and I am so sick each time of watching APM and see Dato. Siti Nurhaliza winning it........ If somebody realise, almost all the winners are Malaysians, and I am not screaming CONTROVERSY, but its just bullshit...... Its time we do our own........

I went for a sermon last week, by Ustadz T.M. Fouzy at Tampines Stadium......... when he said that he invited Ustadz Ahmad from Palembang, I was SO HAPPY!!! I saw this guys talks on Indonesian TV and if he wasn't Muslim, he would have been a comedian...... Unfortunately, it was just false advertising......... Ustadz T.M Fouzy just likes to scream out loud but he just go on and on........

Just a small announcement....... I will be heading for my National Service in September....... Yes, I will the country's son in September....... I am going Tekong people........ So, I will be going for OVERSEAS (YAH RIGHT!!! XD) at September....... Insyaallah, 3 months will be over just like PRCP........ I hope so......... Tata

2008-04-25T00:00:00.003+08:00

I always wanted to see how I would look like Simpsonized........... Ooooo yeah........ I am Simpsonized.......... Hee Hee......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!

Guys..... I kept thinking that my birthday was on the 18th...... thanks you guys....... really miss you all......... I might have died........... OooooO

OMG!!! I AM 20 years old!!! Haha woooo....... I feel old....... OMG!!! I AM NO LONGER A TEEN!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Nah that realization hit me when my student card expires this month.......... OMG!!!! IT EXPIRES THIS MONTH!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! GOD HELP ME!!!!!!!

I have certain problems at home, so I dont think I will blog much....... thats it though...... bye bye!!!

2008-04-18T22:22:00.002+08:00

Just a few words to the people below......

I LOVE ALL OF YOU DICKHEADS AND BITCHES!!!! YOU ALL JUST MAKE ME THE HAPPIEST MAN IN ALL OF THE WORLD!!!! YOU PEOPLE JUST KEEP ROCKING MY WORLD MAN!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!

How could you all not love them....... promise a man that they will meet at Simpang Bedok to have dinner, than make that man wait for the call to leave the house, only to hear the doorbell at the door with a group of people knocking at the door, with a birthday cake and smiles on their faces............ I JUST LOVE ALL YOU MAN!!!! Even if its not yet my birthday, I LOVE IT!!!! YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!!!!!!!!! I am just so happy.......... Thank you.......

I can't say anything else.... this post is just for them......... THANK YOU!!! I WAS GLAD I MET ALL YOU!!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

2008-04-14T00:55:00.002+08:00

Its over for Arsenal.............. Bye bye League Cup, FA Cup, Champions League, EPL................ BYE BYE!!!!!!!!! Its over............... Well, they did better than expected of them before the season start, thats for sure......... still............. the EPL would have really been welcomed.......... Oh well....... I got nothing to look forward to........ The season is over......... Thats it........ Its gone......... Cry people, cry........ I understand the pain.............. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good Luck to whoever wins the title......... BYE BYE EPL!!!!!!!

I got nothing else to say........... Let me cry in peace........... Bye Bye.............

2008-04-08T22:05:00.009+08:00

I really got nothing much, I just watch a LOT of movies....... So with a lot of sweet time, I am going to blog a lot........I've watched the Bucket List, starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson....... its really an a nice heartwarming movie...... A touching movie really, about two strangers living totally opposite lives, after finding out that they only have a few months to live, decide to go on a road trip to achieve stuff they never had a chance to do in their previous lifetime......... Really heartwarming, beautiful story........

Then I watch Leon: The Professional........... Now that is one cool action movie with a story......... Its about an Italian hitman, played by French actor Jean Reno (Its funny to hear an Italian-speaking Frenchman.) who rescued a young abused wayward 12 year old girl, played by the then young actress Natalie Portman , after her family was brutally murdered by cracked corrupt cop Norman Stansfield, played by Gary Oldman....... it was cool..... I mean, this is the movie that inspired the Hitman games and movie, so what you expect???

Then I watch Canadian Bacon, a comedy by Michael Moore, set in the post-cold war era, after the United States emerges from the Cold War, it finds that it got no enemies to divert its problems to........ So they decide to turn on Canada.......... a really funny comedy really which got you thinking deep (But aint no deep enough)........... A really nice deep comedy.........

Meet the Spartans..... just horrible....... really.... its pretty lame really........ sure, its nice, some of the scenes are funny and amusing but it just aint worth it to watch a movie about it......... hell, if I need to watch a spoof, I'll go watch the Simpsons........ It will spoof on almost anything................

So, anyway, what wrong with being single??? I mean sure, I do want to get married someday, and I do want to have a girlfriend, but hell, I really like the freedom I am enjoying..... Just like Jack Nicholson said, "I like marriage, but the problem is, I like being single too, and you can't have both at the same time." which actually make sense....... I want to see the world......... Maybe I would like to join the MUIS Hajj Medical Mission, a group of medical professionals (By the way, nursing is a PROFESSION! To hell to those who accuse that we aren't!!!) sent by MUIS to Saudi Arabia during the Hajj period........ maybe someday......... I still want to find a job...........

Did you know that CGH is no longer under SingHealth......... I heard it might be restructuring but somehow, I did not know........ Well, I need to know, don't I??? Since I don't have a job, and I really want to work at CGH after NS, then I should know so I wont mess up in a damn interview........

The following pictures may shock you...... Please, make sure you are seated before proceeding....... This pictures may surprise and shock you.......... take a look at the picture of the girl below.......... she is on the right by the way if you can't tell the difference.......

Now, take a look at this photos..............

Yup, people, that is your Mo Qian Qian......... I was showing her our video, the Terrorist of NYP, then she showed her photo she took.......... So being a complete evil mastermind..... oh did I forgot to mention smart, handsome and charming evil mastermind............. I went to show her photos to others.......... So, we gossip, being mother hens that we are (I seriously learn that TALENT aspect from Michele)..........

PeiSi: OMG. She's married!!!

Me: I think so. I ask her 5-6 times, but she keep denying. She keep saying she still single.

Von: OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!

Me: That was my first same reaction.

Ben: It must be some photoshop thing.

Von: OMG! WOAH! Words can't describe her! Ahmad, put her photos on your blog and matchmake.

Me: And what? You and I have never met her boyfriend, and for all you know, he is some Chinese triad!!!

Well..... So I did post the photos but not to matchmake really, just to show the shocking tabloid photos.......... I don't want some Yang Ming or Jay Chou or worse, Chinese triad coming up to my door.......... Next thing you knew about what happen next, will be in a small column at back of the advertising pages of Berita Harian........... Anyway, OMG!!! OMG!!! What happen to her when she went back to China??? Hell, she make Zhang Ziyi look like Oprah Winfrey....... OMG!!! OMG!!! I made friends with some hot China girl......... OMG!!! OMG!!!

Anyway, thats it lah....... have fun people, ........ tata.......

2008-04-04T18:06:00.003+08:00

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, humans and aliens. May I present to you, one of the great wonders of the world, unsurpassed by even the Great Pyramids Of Egypt. Please stare in awe as we present to you, Ahmad Firdaus Bin Zaini, Registered Nurse.

Look at that man....... Look at it and awe...... what? Hey, it took me three years, countless days and nights of lack of sleep, coffee overdose, mental and physical torture and abuse, and a whole lot of self-belief to get that small little card, and you all aint gonna take the bragging right away from me........ WOO HOO!!! I am a professional, baby......... The graduation letter just arrived...... I havent read it yet cause my mum left it in the car..........

Ben, Michele, Anita, Rehan, ME, Ihkfak and Shirley.

Anyway, yesterday, after we register with SNB, we went to the zoo......... It was cool...... we saw a lot of animals (Like duh, go Zoo look for what? Computers?)....... Anyway, its like soooo cool..... Then we had dinner at Casuarina Curry...... and then we go to Ang Mo Kio hub McD to chat some more........ You would realise that being registered nurses and one even somebodies wife, you expect the clique to be more mature....... Hell no.......... Haha....... its was really fun anyway........

Somehow, it feels so fast....... it feels like yesterday only had we all just met for orientation........ I was imagining what would have happen if thing had gone differently...... what would have happen had one day, during that infamous incident of Caymania or whatever her name is, had Von actually came early for project presentation...... maybe Ihkfak and Faizah and Sha Sha would have been blood sisters........ Ben and Kat would have been an item....... we would have still think that Yah Ling is COOL, Shirley and Yvonne might not had not been best friend, me and Michele would have loathed each other and not even realise we live across the street from each other....... hell the possibilities......... We may not have even been the infamous GROUP 12....... Maybe that was the silver lining of that incident.........

anyway, thats it...... have fun.....

2008-03-26T00:05:00.002+08:00

Okay, so a few updates...... getting slightly better from the sick season...... Down with flu....... so okay...... whats with the pic??? Well that is a comic based on LucasArt adventure game Day of the Tentacle. This strip is done by me, though the inspiration came from the Day After the Day of the Tentacles........ The character at the top are Purple Tentacle, a tentacle who grew arms and bent on world domination after drinking polluted sludge water and Bernard Bernouli, the resident nerd...... Other characters are Green Tentacle, the green, peaceful cousin of Purple Tentacle with his own band, Green Tentacle and The Sushi Platter........ Laverne, the female psychotic medical student....... Hoagie, the heavy metal bummer....... and Dr Fred, the mad scientist who created the Tentacles........ the comic strip will most likely be a prominent feature of the post...... If you dont like, well burn in hell........... and just what is Day of the Tentacles??? Why, it is one of the Greatest Game of All Time, a legend in the gaming world........

Anyway, just random stuff...... went to eat at Simpang Bedok on Sunday with the family....... and we saw a Thai guy getting whacked by 10-20 man........ and worst of all........ THEY ARE ALL BANGLAS.......... like woah........ imagine the poor guy man...... getting whacked by a gang of vicious, angry mob of banglas........ and the lighting there at Simpang Bedok is poor, so imagine, getting whack in the dark by a bunch of banglas........ woah........

Anyway, I have rejoin NationStates as the Kingdom of Pasier Rise....... it helps stem the alarming rate of which my braincells are dying by allowing me to exercise my brain by debating in the region (my region is Singapore by the way) and in the UN........ Well, my brain needs to be oiled or it will be so sludgy.......

So, anyway, not much........ my MENTOR, sent me an email today to spread to the class...... and like woah, I delete it the moment I saw it........ Haha....... luckily, she send it to Eugene and Peisi as well....... I told some of my classmate, that if she is looking for me, tell her I am dead........ me and Ben were discussing what happen if we really were terrorist.........

NYP LECTURER BRUTALLY ASSASINATED

Brutal bombings are believed to be the work of terrorist group Al-Korteh.

The brutal assasination of NYP lecturer has sent shockwave throughout Nanyang Polytechnic and Singapore. The victim was bombed as she enters her office to start the days work. Police said they found evidence leading them to famous terrorist group Al-Korteh.

"The killings was brutal. The victim reminded me of my cousin's uncle's daughter's mother's husband's child, which is incidently, me." said a witness to bombings.

The terrorist group release a 10 minutes video later, claiming responsibility for the bombings and victory for cheese everywhere. Police spokesman said "The acts of this terrorist are unprofessional and they shouldn't have done that. Where is your lanyards by the way?"

This is Zhao Bin, Channel News Asia, Singapore.

Yah..... I know....... I am just evil when I am sick............ thats it....... have fun...... tata......

2008-03-18T16:27:00.005+08:00

I just realise that this is my 300th post!!! WOW!!! I've blog that much?! Wow!!! Alright man....... This is like so cool...... its a hallmark man........ Which is why I change the blog pictures and the song......... By the way, the picture and song aint about my being desperate for a girl...... I've just watch a Youtube video of James Brown and Luciano Pavarotti singing "It's a Man's World" and I was just inspired by it......... Two of the greatest singer ever to walk the Earth...... May both of you rest in peace.........

Yesterday was Changi Beach clique outing organize by yours truly....... Its so great to be seeing Ben, Rehan, Ihkfak, Michele, Shirley and Yvonne........ also met Raihana also, who just came back from Ubin........ we stuff ourselves with donuts and talk about anything....... then some of us went cycling....... Ihkfak met with an accident and was like bleeding paint!!! We were cycling when she skidded against the pavements...... initially she was okay, then we continued..... then suddenly she said she was bleeding, and as I catch up, I saw that her slipper were soaking bright red blood....... damn!!! We got an injured nurse, surrounded by 3 recently qualified nurses........ So I went back to where we set up our picnic, while Rehan when to the guard house nearby to get their first aid kit, and Anita tend to Ihkfak......... So I travelled back to get tissue, water, sanitary pad (A good idea come to think of it if you do not have any sterile dressing pack cause sanitary pad are good at absorbing blood and is sterile too ) and Yvonne (I thought that if it might be safe to bring Yvonne along just in case Ihkfak can't cycle anymore, but damn, its heavy having to cycle Yvonne there )......... yah, so by the time I arrived, Ihkfak, the nurse is being attended by 4 qualified staff nurses.........

Unfortunately, nothing bad happen and she was able to continue, though she later met with another minor incident (Note: Dangerous cyclist on the loose! )...... then we went to slack at Burger King Whitesand..... Shirley, Yvonne, and Ihkfak wanted to smoke, so they drag chairs out of the non smoking area...... and they sat like they were on a talkshow, and so, we took a video of them...... Its called Smoking with Shirley....... Once I get my hands on that video, you people are all YOUTUBED!!! Haha!!! Kiddin....... :P

Anyway, not much lah....... Tata ladies and gentlemans......

2008-03-15T19:52:00.004+08:00

When you miss people, you post pictures of them......... I really miss these people....... I miss them more after I got a letter from NYP saying that I have been conferred my Diploma....... yup, I am going straight to SNB to get me my damn practise license........... I can't wait for that card to scream AHMAD FIRDAUS, REGISTERED NURSE............ anyway, Instead of posting pictures, I post videos of them.......... the first one is the synchronised bullshit one while the second one is the trailer of Terrorist of NYP: THE CURSE OF MAS SELAMAT ......... yup, original..........

This is the sneak poster of Terrorist of NYP: The Curse of Mas Selamat...... the trailer video is below........ Cool aint it........ again, yup its original......

Dad's Army

2008-03-06T23:41:00.002+08:00

Its funny how a group of old men, who can't even talk properly, are willing to die for their country if the need arises........ Its a comedy called Dad's Army, set in World War 2, in Britain, when the threat of Hitler invading Britain was a serious threat that they had to called up their reserves, the Home Guard, made up of soldiers who are not eligible for the army, in other words, too young or too old....... The jokes are really subtle and sometimes, its damn right hilarious......

Private Pike in a conversation with Sgt.Wilson, who is having an affair with Pike's mum.

Pike: "By the time we finish supper, it's so late, you never leave our house until after I've gone to bed and you're back early for breakfast before I'm awake."

Wilson: "I let myself in and out very quietly"

Pike: "You never do anything else quietly!"

On another note, damn I just love curry ( I know, I am going damn random here, just bear with me )........... seriously its good with everything........ damn, the British didn't colonize India for hundreds of years just for land or economy, they damn well colonize it for their curry...... I wonder how they discover curry..........

On some random matters on life....... been entertaining my cousins from the other side of the causeway......... bring them to Bugis Street and Mustafa Centre for some shopping....... Who said Singaporeans dissappoint me....... We were in the train and I was glad that some Singaporean stand up to give their seat to the pregnant and elderly......... And more than one people too....... People who always condemn Singaporeans should start praising people who do gave up their seat....... then maybe more people will start to follow.........

Anyway, not much....... trying to change this blog template........ Will update more as soon as possible....... Tata gentlemans.......

For Death and Glory........

2008-03-02T02:24:00.007+08:00

Have you ever stop to think about another person's life...... I was watching the Pianist on TV and I was wondering, when German soldiers throw a wheelchair bound Jew from a third storey building, when women and children were were massacred like pest, what does it feels like if I were in their shoes.......... what would I be thinking if I was thrown off a building..... would I refuse under threats of death to shoot an innocent women........ its easy for us to condemn the action of others made during those times, yet, would we do any different??? Those were evil and uncertain times........ would you do any different...... its easy to judge, harder to act........ I salute you, Wilm Hosenfeld....... may the courage you showed the world be a reminder to us, that peace comes with a price......... that peace is what the world should care about.........

Anyway, just random stuff........ I am in despair........ why......... cause Arsenal draw again.......... they are cracking.......... just when we thought that they might have the mental stability to be champions, they are cracking....... like a deck of cards....... Personally, I think they did a great job this season, proving that Arsenal isn't just a one-man Henry team....... However, situations look bleak....... well, Arsenal certaintly cannot depend on Man United dropping points alone........ and certainly we cannot depend on Derby County to prevent Man United from getting any points at all......... Personally, I would certainly want to replace Gallas....... did anybody saw his damn behavior at the Birmingham game........ what kind of captain ran away from his team and in anger, kick an advertising board (sound familiar, like that idiot who kick a dustbin in frustration.)

Anyway, congratulation Singapore on being able to host the Youth Olympics....... its a really big honour........ But there is more to be done......... we can't have foreign youth coming over to Singapore and seeing our people spitting and littering in public, abusing public facilities and being selfish by not giving their their seats to the elderly....... yes, we won, but I aint having some Russian saying that Singaporeans are drunk drivers, and some French calling us rude dogs........ its time social change aint it..........

Anyway, thats it........ i blog if I feel like it....... Tata, and have fun.......

Beren Ancalímon

2008-02-18T01:51:00.004+08:00

I want them dead..... I want my demons, my past failures, my dissappointed emotions all dead........ If I could, I would charge out and crush my owns demons of failure....... I know my capabilities, and I have full confidence that I can do anything that I want, and nothing in the damn world could stop me....... I just want my demons dead........ haish......

Yesterday got my job interview with SGH........ and I realise the difference between the real world job interview and the student scholarship interview........ During those interview for bonds, it was against your fellow Singaporean student, so you tend have less pressure as most of your competitors are your friends, and even if you dont get it, you are happy for your friends who do got it......... In the real world job interview, there was some sort of pressure....... imagine going in for an interview and you saw your competition...... Not only students but damn well Filipinos, Chinese nationals, Sri Lankans, Indian, and not to mention those old Singaporean staff nurses who are damn well qualified........ I feel so....... newbie.......

Anyway, SGH is so damn big....... I got lost trying to look for the damn place....... I manage to reach the place 15mins before time........ so I waited for 1 hour plus........ then during my turn, my interview last around 5 minutes........ my fastest interview to date...... they ask me what's my hobby ( Soccer and cooking....... Soccer give me a manly image, while cooking give me a compassionate side.......), where I go out with my friends, and where my attatchment is........ And I actually bothered to read up when SGH was set up and their vision and goals and mission statement........ anyway, just got a called from SGH HR...... they wish to ask regarding my NS enlistment date...... called up CMPB and was told not finalised yet....... still have to wait....... everything have wait....... Haish....... the troubles of a male nurse in pending.........

Anyway, been with the clique helping Michele prepare her solemnisation ceremony........ it was really tiring...... I can't believe it...... we need to set up the decorations, clean up the place, prepare the wedding gifts, rearrange the furniture and me and Yvonne were the emcee, so rehearsals were necessary......... it was like FYP all over again, and woah, it was really pressure...... but because this is Michele Lim, all the efforts and sweats and sleepless nights were worth it, just to see her smiling as she walk down the aisle with her husband........ The job is done well, so I am just glad....... May she have a great future.........

Anyway, playing Lord of the Ring: Battle for Middle Earth 2. I played as the humans against 2 dwarves......... I surrendered........ they break down the walls, and were launching waves and waves against my position...... we try repelling them and just barely stand our ground....... I then decide that if it were to be our end, then it will be such an end, that little dwarves would cry hearing our names........... My hero, with regiments of knights and soldiers of Gondors, Riders of Rohan, Guard of the White Tower, and my Rangers of Ithilien formed up to meet them head on...... as soon as we hold off another attack, we open our gates and launch a reprisal......... The dwarf were shocked...... their lines cracked, and they attempt to counter attack our lines but lots of dwarves were cut down by my Archers and Rangers......... we pushed onwards, but dwarves pikeman formed up and cut down my Knights of gondor before archers took them down....... we reach their base and launch a suicidal attack on their fortress....... like a thousand winds, dwarves were crushed as now, hobbits and rangers of the Dunedain joined in......... unfortunately, reinforcement arrived and we were forced to meet them head on as well........this gave the defending army time to regroup enough dwarves to force us into street fighting, and we were screwed........ last thing I need is a battle of attrition........ weakened, I pulled what forces we have left and retreat......... I surrendered.........

Thank god all this is over........ let me look at my life ........ and let me smile.........

2008-02-08T23:18:00.000+08:00

My respect to the late Ah Meng, Singapore's most popular orangutan...... our beloved orangutan has passed away today....... she has contribute more to Singapore than most Singaporean do, including that blasted Egmar Goncalves........ thank you dear Ah Meng...... I have grown up, visiting the zoo to see her, and her death would surely be a blow to most Singaporean......

Anyway, doing nothing much....... watch a lot of movies........ I am beginning to become soft lately...... I watch movie and easily can fall to tears whenever there is those touching moments.......been watching Akeelah and the Bee...... I shed a tear....... Damn, I watch Chicken Little and I shed a tear...... whats happening to me........ I am becoming weak........ Haish......

Yesterday, went to Michele house with the clique and then went to Giant and IKEA........ oh yah, can't remember me writing this but my good friend is getting married this month to her soon to be husband, Mr Rayson Lim......... awww....... anyway, she has been asking the clique to help her plan the event........ so we went to Giant and IKEA to help shop for her event decor....... should have shop at Dimla........ :P

Anyway, I hate doing dumb stuff.......... especially when it involves waking up early in the morning to wait for a girl at the bustop to ask for her number, and then when you meet the girl, you talk to her so much you forget to get her number............ idiot........ we all have seen this before......... IDIOT!!!!!

Anyway, have fun..........

2008-02-07T21:06:00.000+08:00

Finally, got a chance to change the site's song....... By the way, to all Chinese, Happy Lunar New Year......... Alright, first up....... Welcome to the STAFF NURSE DIARY!!!! Yup...... its no longer the Student Nurse Diary....... FINE!!! Its the UNEMPLOYED NURSE DIARY for now...... so for now, I don't really know what to call this site....... so its just "A diary of a Nurse in Pending" ....... yup, really original........

So yup....... thats right...... for now, I am unemployed....... not sure where to go though...... its surely my wonderful nation........ not sure when going to be enlisted but went for my medical check-up....... its Pes A....... damn it........ but somehow, my staff nurse were tipping me on how to get downgraded....... yup, clearly, they are great sons of Singapore........ Anyway, its two years of serving my nation, and then, its find a job....... I may not be employed yet, but its pretty sure that I want to end up in the wards after NS..........somehow, I like the tag Staff Nurse Firdaus....... yup, 3month of PRCP and fell in love with my own name....... the next line might be an excerpt from my future report maybe??

# Fever : A: Patients temperature at 4pm is 39.0*C.

P: To reduce body temperature

I: Dr.Tan informed and with orders to give cold compress first and monitor patient. Cold compress given. Oral Paracetamol served as per IMR.

E; Temperature at 8pm is 37.9*C. To continue monitoring.

So thats how usually your nurse write their report (Which is somehow not close to what I learn in school. What happen to SMART plan?)........ so usually at the end of it, the nurse have to sign..... for me during PRCP, it was "NYP Yr3 Ahmad", having to state I am a student, and my staff nurse have to sign, or else it will be a documentation error........ Now, its no longer NYP AHMAD....... If I ever get employed, its obviously SN Ahmad Firdaus! If my ink stamp can fit the name, then it will damn well be SN Firdaus......... Just keep saying it makes me happy

SN Firdaus. SN Firdaus.

P.S. I know, its post PRCP rambling........ 3years and its staff nurse so somehow, there is pressure and stress you know....... which is why i write it down...... Happy Holidays......

2008-02-02T17:49:00.000+08:00

Alright people....... another post....... yesterday return back to NYP for some group photos, briefing and feedback session and stuff like that........ And it was a great chance to see everybody back in school........ Miss them so much........ but it was really a short time affair........ still, to see everybody back in school is just so nice......... Somehow, I don't know but I am going to miss the school days....... But now, I must look forward the new challenges in life...... I am after all a staff nurse ( Where, I still don't know. My CGH friend told me to keep applying and my TTSH friend told me to join them while somehow, I sign an application form to join SGH. But it still Staff Nurse btw )..........

Anyway, then follow the cliques for lunch/dinner at Changi Airport Terminal 1, Popeye's Chicken, with Rehan, Ben, Michele, Ihkfak, Yvonne and Shirley....... as usual, whenever the clique goes, chaos follow........ I miss those days of chaos in school....... and yesterday was great........ after Terminal 1, we went to Terminal 3, then Terminal 2...... then Shirley and Yvonne went off and the rest went to MY HOUSE to play Shrek 2........ Yesterday was really fun, and I really enjoy it........

Somehow, I am going to miss the cliques........ 3 years feel so short........ I really am going to miss you guys........ Anita, Ben, Eugene, Ihkfak, Michele, Rehan, Shirley, Yvonne....... all of you........ Somehow, you make 3 years of my life so interesting, I don't know whether my life will be boring all the way........

Haish........ I really had a great time yesterday........... Tata, ladies and gentleman.......

2008-01-31T22:07:00.000+08:00

Dear Readers,

Thank you for visiting this site. It has been in existence for almost two and a half years. This blog had been keeping my ups and downs, and it tracks the journey I went through. Ever since I started my Diploma at NYP, I wanted to see myself happy with whatever job I am doing. And I am glad to say I am. I am in love with my profession. And today, though it aint official yet, I am glad to say that I will now have the title of Staff Nurse added to my list of famous position. Thank you for all your support and kind wishing. We here at http://www.ahmadtankfbz.blogspot.com/ are happy to provide you with stupid ramblings of the guy who wishes to be a staff nurse somehow. Thank You dear people.

Yours Sincerely

STAFF NURSE FIRDAUS

Thats RIGHT PEOPLE!!! FROM NOW ON, ANYBODY WHO CALLS ME STUDENT GETS IT!!!! HAHA!!! WHAT STUDENT, STUDENT?! ITS STAFF NURSE OKAY!!!!

2008-01-28T22:43:00.000+08:00

The world lost another person today....... Suharto, former president of Indonesia, passed away yesterday......... just a sign of respect for the man the Indonesian grew up with........

Anyway, it got me thinking about human rights and the world at large........ what really is human rights??? When a powerful man kill his opponent who tries to kill him if they could, would it be call murder or self defence??? I am not supporting dictators or suppressed political victims of dictators, but just think......... If you got hold of power, and people are either jealous or dont want you in power and would do anything to kill you, would you let stay alive so that he CAN actually KILL you??? Just think.......

Another thing....... if we want to be fully democratic system, do not allow groups who do not believe in democracy to participate......... You cannot vote for people who, once they are voted in, will not give you the chance to vote......... Which is why I admire the PAP........ despite Singapore being almost a 1 party country, the PAP would never jeopardise my right to vote for who I want in power..........

Well, to another topic....... I just came to realise, that with the exception of Lee Kuan Yew, our Prime Ministers are very tall people........ Goh Chok Tong and Lee Hsien Loong are quite tall..... not the average height of your standard Asians......... so it got me thinking whether height is a requirement to be PM....... I would certainly prefer to have a tall leader........ He is slightly taller than George W Bush in pictures taken with him and the American president, which puts makes him at around 1.82m??? Anybody got the official height??? Anyway, I prefer to have a taller PM because, in the international arena, height can be an asset during discussion...... it makes a small country like Singapore tall, and a tall leader makes an imposing sight for a short leader who has to look up to have a discussion...... which is why most discussion takes place when they are sitting to prevent tall people from abusing their heights.........

anyway, not much....... got to go....... tata......

2008-01-27T02:49:00.000+08:00

You know..... life is intresting indeed....... mysterious....... crazy...... its a damn drama people....... you would always be surprised....... what we took for granted, is what we would miss the most....... sometimes, it can be crazy...... life is never up to us to decide, its just beyond us......

For example, imagine knowing that you will die young....... you have a terminal illness, and the doctors told you that you only have a few month to live...... just how would you cope....... everyday, I see him, I think of that very same question....... and at such a young age....... I find it hard to take care of people like him...... its not the daily stress of taking care of him, its the emotional toll to know that someone as young as you, will die........ and somehow, it affects your work, your principles......... how much do you bend the rules...........

Anyway, a few more days, and its over....... dont know if pass yet but hopefully......... Sister Chan only did my appraisal on Friday...... she absolutely tried to kill me......... She ask me about abdominal tap, chest tubes etc........ aiyoh........ anyway, Friday need to return to school for briefing to register with Singapore Nursing Board.......... I can't believe it......... I am going to be a staff nurse....... OMG!!! Anyway, going to miss Ward 4#........ haish...... they are so nice....... too bad the workload is just horrible......... must remember to take back my cup........ I thought they throw away my cup on Thursday......... I was like "I haven't yet left and they throw away my cup?! What?! They don't know who's cup labelled NYP AHMAD belongs to?!"......... I found out later that Aunty Lee put it in the kitchen instead of the pantry.........

Anyway, I am always sick this week....... been coughing and coughing........ and somehow, I just get fatigue easily......... and thank god my last week, the week that I have to make up, is CNY week, so I only replace 3 days of my initial one week...... I think its fair cause I only took 3 days MC........ hehe....... and all of it is afternoon, so my last morning will be this coming Thursday........ late nights. here I come.......

so thats it....... tata....... :P

YO HO YO HO!!!!

2008-01-18T15:58:00.000+08:00

This pirates are damn well cool........ this is the RV Farley Mowat, the Flagship of the Neptune's Navy, the fleet of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society....... along with the MV Steve Irwin and RV Sirenian, they are a group of environmental conservationist..... not the usual environmentalist, mind you, where they hold protest, and attempt to educate the masses...... they sink ships, launch boarding parties, and they really enforce the law....... woah....... take that you non-Green peeps.....

Its a few more days more people..... exactly 12 more days...... heard nothing....... might be good news..... I can't really wait....... so fast...... then its SN Firdaus........ Its 3 years of bittersweet memories........ its a drama, comedy, suspense, horror and documentary of life to be in this course and I am absolutely glad that I chose this damn course....... now, maybe to get a job......

I think I have fallen....... real hard...... obsession....... I am absolutely crazy this week........ real cuckoo........ I dont care...... I really feel bleak at home..... somehow, everything looks bleak...... except that really small shining light of happiness..... Should I follow that damn light???

And I am thinking of changing songs people....... just give me an idea this time.......

Creating Alternatives.....

2008-01-14T01:07:00.000+08:00

I love watching Star Wars...... Its a world of sci-fi which somehows parrallel the real world..... I love watching the battles, the duels, the story of deceit..... the plans...... somehow, the world of rebelling and Jedis appeal to me........ I love playing Star Wars cause I can be somebody saving the world, or just somebody crushing it, to make it safe and orderly........ I am currently playing the Star Wars: Rebellion, which is a grand strategy games that allows you to become either the Empire, or the Rebellion, and fight each other in grand battles, of diplomacy, land combat and space combat......... Really boring if you dont know how to play but fun if played well...... And I was allowed to mod the game a bit and bring in some characters left out...... One characther though, was created by me....... His name......

Rear Admiral Ahmad Firdaus........
History: Rear Admiral Firdaus, hailing from Onderon, had served in the Clone Wars as the captain of the Guarlara. The Guarlara played a significant role in the Battle of Coruscant, when, breaking through the Separatist line, engage the Invisible Hand at point-blank range. Unknown to most Republic ship at that time suffering from communication disruption, the Invisible Hand was carrying the captured Chancellor Palpatine and the Guarlara's point blank attack had almost endanger the rescue attempt.

The Guarlara (top) engaging the Invisible Hand in the Battle of Coruscant.

After the Clone Wars, Captain Firdaus defected along with his ship, and joined the Rebellion after Palpatine declares himself Emperor. He led the Guarlara again in the Battle of Kuat, under the command of Raymus Antilles. He then led the Guarlara again, this time under Admiral Ackbar, at the engagement at Vallusk Cluster. For this, Captain Firdaus was promoted to Rear Admiral, where he continue to fight against Imperial forces.

The Repulse, a captured Imperial ship used by Rear Admiral Firdaus.

Yup....... if only it was true......... :P

Have fun peeps.......

I am sitting in the Dark side of the room.....

2008-01-12T02:06:00.000+08:00

You know, if you dig hard enough around your files, you find some photos you never get to publish in the blog........ either we dont have the chance, or it just dont make good tabloid photos....... mostly they dont make good tabloid photos.......I am looking at them cause I want to get them publish for the graduation...... if you have any disgusting photos to make us

I am tired...... somehow, my immune systems is weaker again....... I feel the infection coming to attack my throat..... I am weak....... did you know that despite the advance health technologies here in this countries, there are people who dies before their time??? There are sad stories in hospital........ along with those haunted ones, and those joyful ones, and those heroic action stuff...... and not to mention the comedies........ which is why I like working in the hospital a lot..... like Sister Lum said,

Sister Lum: We are having a drama over here people.

So some random stories....... went to the OT just now to send patient for op...... they were like "Do you miss us?"........ my stand on working in the OT is clear........ nope..... it is a like a civilised butcher shop....... I need to work with people...... I am a people person......

Anyway, I miss people..... and when I miss people, i post photos of them........ thats it..... tata

2008-01-07T19:38:00.000+08:00

Welcome back....... another page in the life of an aspiring staff nurse......... I want to graduate...... I have astounding belief that I can....... I belief, slowly, I will achieve something with my life, and that at least when I die, people will actually say,

"What a life he lives."

I want to save souls...... but mine is a mess....... I hate going home..... I don't feel appreciated...... I can't stand it...... I want to go home, to a home that is willing to give me support, not to a home where I just have to face a mess....... I want peace...... Peace please...... Dont expect too much from me....... I

Anyway, ward is getting brighter...... I finally rejoin team 1...... I seem to be stuck in Team1...... Somehow, I just love to see my patients discharge...... Even though I am gonna miss them, to see them discharge give you joy...... sometimes, your duty, and your ethics and your belief clash...... sometimes emotions can get in your ways...... for example, to give quality care...... how do you define quality care??? Its more vague especially in end-of-life cases...... do you give life-sustaining care with pain, or painless but non-improving care........ it can never be easy.....

Anyway, it can be funny...... how about falling in front of the nurses counter, in full view of everybody, in a very busy ward........ yup...... or touching a basin full of hot water...... yah...... what entertainment...... laugh it up....... While Shafiq is popular for being the HERO, our dear Firdaus is catching up as COMEDIAN....... I don't know why its funny...... haish..... bitch..... :P

Anyway, not much....... have fun.....

2008-01-06T01:07:00.000+08:00

Friendship is the most beautiful of things....... it makes you laugh, cry, angry, sad, happy, joy..... the joys of friendship....... I look at the world, with its bleak, cruel outlook, where everyday, people die, wars are wage, hatred widespread...... yet, no news ever report on those happy moments when childs are born, life are merged, and people get happy......

One of my best friend will be getting married next month and I am so happy for her....... You are a great friend and would surely be a great wife and daughter in law...... congratulations and may your marriage be blessed......... Dont forget us all.......

Happy New Year

2008-01-04T16:45:00.000+08:00

Welcome New Year 2008......... Here comes a new year and a whole 365 days......... thats 8760 hours, 525 600 minutes and 31 536 000 seconds........ thats a whole lot of time........ yet, it passes so fast........ so many things can happen.......

On my night this week...... today is the last nite...... and then no more nights....... Its horrible......3 cups of coffee aint gonna make me survive the work of taking care of 22 patients, half of which needs to be closely watch........ the workload is horrible........ i cant even think of sleep......... horrible........

Anyway, I begin to like the ward...... its so nice and friendly..... there is still some of themI dont like, but day by day, I begin to like it....... its horrible, but hey, its life...... I wanna pass by January....... please let me pass........

Anyway, thats it...... bye bye

Take evasive Action

2007-12-30T20:54:00.000+08:00

The reality is I dont have a fleet..... I do not have an army to fight for me, to support me, to die for me......... Somehow, I dont care....... Somehow, everyday, I lead life like a battle........ Prepare the fleet, deploy them, direct them......... its similar to life somehow...... oh well.......

Anyway, some stuff again......... I am digging some really old shit....... those really old movies kind of stories in my life......... Anybody remember Nantilah??? Yup old story...... some how it resurface again....... For those who dont remember, she's this girl I had a crush on...... apparently, in a show of bravery, I went up to her and ask her for her number...... as fate would have it, it was really a show of stupidity, cause not only did I shock her, thus failing to get the number, I also forgot to ask the name, thus the name Nantilah......... Ok, so apparently, I am working with her best friend who also happen to be beside her that fateful day........ so apparently that story came up and yah, funny story really...... so apparently, we were discussing about her..... here it goes....

Me: I know, its stupid. They laugh at me all day. You know what we call her?

Hidayah: Yah I know. Nantilah right?

Me: Wait. You know? How did you know?

Hidayah: Yah. Michele told me. I have been asking around.

Ahmad: What?! Who else have you been talking to?

Hidayah: Michele. Shirley.

Really??? What happen to one for all and all for one? What happen man? Here comes a spy looking for answers and information and she got it served on a silver platter.... by my own trusted inner circle.... Amazing...... so, being shocked, I asked Michele to come over to JOIN IN.....

Ahmad: What have you been telling her?

Michele: Tell her what?

Ahmad: Come on. What have you been telling her?

Hidayah: Nantilah.

Michele: Ouh. You know she is her friend?

Oh really?! Do tell me more Michele cause I want to know more cause you are the few people I would have trust my life with...... I didnt want to know more........ its okay....... I take it that you were unaware that she happens to be spying and forgive you....... same too with Shirley...... yup, Yomama, I forgive you...... Forgive me for not coming for the party........ Yvonne, forgive me too.......... :P

Okay, in a lighter note, I was blame for patients death again (Jokingly) ........ I must have looked like the Angel of Death........ Maybe I should dress up as a Grim Reaper next week......... Apparently, the deceased was my case...... he was supposed to be have an NGT insertion......

SN Brenda: Ahmad, you insert the tube for patient.

Ahmad: No problem. Now right?

SN Brenda: Yah. Sister will be assessing.

Ahmad: No prob.........

No wonder none of them want to insert the NGT.......... so, only two people had their hands on that tube....... me and Sister....... I tried it first but couldn't get past the noserils....... then Sister tried but she too failed though she got past further........ so in the report, I wrote attempt unsucessful........ So apparently, later they tried and failed again, and later, Haqiqi found patient unresponsive........ so he passed away........ so they jokingly say that the probable cause of death was the tube insertion......... Funny, haha, but I think it was really Haqiqi's mole......... that thing can cause instant death...... No disrespect to the patient and his family though....... As a nurse, we do have passion to care for people and try to give them quality care in their sick role and in their endlife....... may he rest in peace.......

So not much........The year is about to end and a new one set to arrive........ get ready peeps........ so thats it....... This is Ahmad Firdaus Zaini, signing off.......